Do you ever go through "dark" phases where you withdraw from the hobby and then come back?

[nowinaminute 3320]

I'm just now starting to really get into RC stuff again after a a dark spell.

I'm not sure if anyone will remember reading about it, but I had to go on furlough back when Covid was going on, and I was pretty nervous about my job security looking forwards which started to hinder my enjoyment a bit, but I carried on for a while.

Disaster struck in Summer 2022 when I finally lost my job. With no formal qualifications and crippling social anxiety among other issues, it really looked bleak. It didn't help that I'd spent 20 years working in a sector that has changed dramatically and basically my experience was all but useless.

I honestly didn't know what on earth I was going to do in terms of making a living. I wasn't earning much in the first place, and there was a cost of living and energy crisis just starting to kick in, too.

And one massive perk of my old job was how flexible and accommodating they were in regards to doing school runs etc. I just knew I wasn't going to find another full time job where they would be ok with me going off to get the kid from school at 3pm and bring them back to work with me for the last couple of hours. 

I really couldn't see how my life was going to move forward.

Eventually, after some soul searching and mulling it over, I decided to give selling on ebay a go. There are a few niche categories I've sold in over the years just to get rid of stuff I'd acquired as a hobby, and always seemed to do quite well with that, managing to have self funding hobbies for a while, but it all stopped when my kid was born, so I hadn't done it in nearly a decade!

Anyway, I invested some of my redundancy to buy some stock and gave it a go. That was nearly two years ago, now. And while it has been a rollercoaster with some terrifying lows, on the whole, I've managed to make a viable living from it so far. I haven't really allowed myself to feel any sense of achievement or pride, due to my self depreciating nature, but I am at least glad I managed to use my initiative to pull myself out of what felt like an impossible situation. 

ANYWHOO!!!

Long story short, RC went totally out the window with the job thing. I didn't touch an RC for over a year. I just about forced myself to take one out now and then last summer. 

But these past few months have finally felt a bit like the good old days. I'm actually up at my desk performing maintenance on stuff, going back to long neglected projects, ordering random parts and fasteners on aliexpress etc....It's not quite back to how it used to be, but it's a good start! I can't remember the last time I was this enthusiastic to get home and get on with Rc stuff. In the last 48 hours alone I have re-assembled my Grasshopper which has lay forlorn since 2019, serviced my DT-03 Neo Frog and rebuilt the shocks (haven't driven it since about 2021), gone back to an old Nikko dual motor project that I last wrote about in 2018!:
 

It's so nice to finally have a natural urge to do RC stuff without it feeling forced.

I just wondered if anyone else has had a similar thing happen? Lost the interest/passion/sense of wellbeing and then made their way back?

[River19 65]

My "dark" period was from 1989 until 2024.....so a bit of a gap.....

But not due to anything "dark" per se, just life, career, million other hobbies, etc.

[SlideWRX 883]

Congrats on managing to re-invent your income - that is pretty tough.  I haven't yet hit an honest dark time - I did this as a kid and only came back about three years ago.  I am looking for a new job because I don't see my group at work surviving another couple years - Engineering is getting farmed out to other countries. For every 1 they fire here they hire 2 or 3 in other countries.   They figured out that if 10 people could do 90% of their job at home, take the 10% percent in-office and pile it on one local person and farm out the remote part to the cheapest location possible.  For half the price they get twice the people.  Eventually the local work will be taken over by suppliers, or they will re-create the test/build facilities in other countries.

I'm not too surprised - it has happened to plenty of technical jobs, and 'they' have been trying to outsource engineering to other countries for 20+ years, but it finally kicked into high gear with functional remote work.

[Mad Ax 10037]

I'm not sure I've really had a dark period.  I've been in the hobby for around 18 years now, and have only got deeper in.  I keep wondering if it's about to come to a natural end, but, on any given Sunday, I love to be up in the workshop tinkering and making things.  I keep thinking about getting another motorbike so I can give my GSX a long-overdue respray, but I'm not sure I'd enjoy that so much as I enjoy RC stuff.  A week ago I stripped down a friends 3-wheeled scooter to fix a starting problem, which was kinda fun, but frustrating, and it felt too "important" - it doesn't matter if I screw up an RC project, I can take it apart and build something else or try again next week / month / year, but if I screw up a motorbike then it could cost thousands, or could cost me my life if it fails on the road.

(Literally just 4 days ago I screwed up my van - my neighbour kindly spray-painted the fence right behind it so it got covered in fence paint, I figured some thinners and a soft abbrasive sponge would get it off, which it did, but has ruined the lacquer, so now it needs a trip to the paint shop - that's the kind of 1:1 thing that scares / frustrates me).

Anyway, I'm digressing.  There were times when I slowed down when other life stuff got in the way, but I was always desperate to get back to it.

In fact I partly hope it does come to a natural end - I put huge sums of money into RC every month, and that money could go to other things, but I'm not sure what I'd do with my Sundays that would fulfil or relax me the same way tinkering in my workshop does, without costing just as much money and being more depending on weather or having higher stakes if I get it wrong.

[Dances With Cages 5]

I've always had hobbies that come and go. I've begun dabbling with RC again recently due to becoming increasingly frustrated and unmotivated with what I've been doing for the last few years. I bought a TT-02 and refurbished an old TT-01 as a Euro truck as my local club had classes for them, but found they'd moved on by the time I got everything ready to go. Such is life.

I've also been refreshing a pretty tired TL-01 LA I picked up, got my vintage Boomerang to where I'm happy with it, and next on the list is a rather ratty Bear Hawk.

Things have moved along since I was last steadily into the hobby, so there is a bit of a learning curve, but that has always been part of the fun. It looks like I need new radio gear if I want to go racing again, but my chargers still do the job.

Coming back to the hobby has been refreshing and interesting, and I've also felt more like tinkering with my weird old project car, which may make it back onto the road in a couple of months.

 

[Badcrumble 4406]

Well done on finding your way back after all that hard work. Give yourself the credit - certainly not easy. 

Looking forward to seeing your RC work on here again!

[wtcc5 5509]

Thanks for the story! Always interesting how life changes and opens new "doors" after closing one.

I for myself didn't have a dark phase. I forgot the hobby for about eight years while being in the army and then at the university. I remembered it during the economic crisis (2008-2010)  when I was afraid to lose my job, the company barely survived these years. I revived my RC10T2 and did some parking lot racing with the interns at that time. That brought me back and after I changed jobs, it really started with regional touring car racing. I took that serious until 2015 when I bought a Superbike and suddenly lost all R/C motivation. Not for long though. It all came back slowly in the years after and got rampant during COVID lockdown with my FF-01 period. It was then when the collection grew from about five cars to +100 now... 

[Saito2 7250]

I'm sorry to hear about your dark spell. Uncertainty and change can be scary.

RC is usually my "safe place", mentally. Gotta free moment to let my mind wander? It usually goes to RC. Bored (and horribly out of my element) at a social function? Tune out and think about RC. Its a comfort thing. I guess there have been times things in the hobby have disheartened me. Tamiya's first venture into MAP pricing, where everything jumped up in price a great deal literally overnight, got me bent out of shape. Associated's pricing and tactics with the latest RC10 rerelease were disappointing to me, but I guess you voice your opinion when asked and move on. Overall, its the world that gets in the way of RC enjoyment, but that''s life sometimes.

[yogi-bear 2413]

congrats on successfully navigating the redundancy, self employment is not easy and certainly not for everyone. I have been self employed for about 25yrs and have had many highs and lows, but now I would find it hard to go back to a 9 to 5 job.

I am probably in a semi dark phase at the moment. When I was able to do more RC things, work was a bit quiet, now work is crazy and will be for a number of years to come, which means I have very little time for RC, but ironically I can afford more things. For a while I was a little depressed about it, but realised thats the way it will be, learnt to accept it and that it will not always be that way and that maybe retirement is when I will hit my stride. But I still enjoy collecting (both kits and some projects, and thus giving me plenty to do whenever I do retire). I also try and work on projects that I can come and go over weeks without too much trouble. Plus I am very lucky that I can work on some projects that are work related, like vac forming, making stickers, 3D printing etc. The Marui Mitsubishi kit I am working on is a good example of this. It lets me expand on what I know about 3D printing, machining, vac forming and mold making as well as different printing techniques.

 

[Jeepy2013 749]

I've been in the hobby since 1985, have had a few times where I've stepped back and took a break for awhile and did something else. Some of it came about from job situation, family situation, life or just plain old getting burnt out.  

[alvinlwh 6896]

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[dannymulder 933]

I am sort of coming back after a few years of doing almost nothing with my rc cars and stuff, after 6 years of doing rc cars as a hobby I just burn out of it,  I thought of selling al my cars and stuff, but I kept every thing.

The last months I run my cars more then the past years and start repair and working on my rc cars, bought 2 new cars and I am excited to build them and do rc things again.

My biggest issue was that I was buying and selling to much cars and getting frustated with it, A lot of times I saw cars on sale and  because they where a good price I must buy them, and bought a lot of hopups for them.

Most of the times it turns out that I don not like the car and after 1 run I want to sell it, but in the end always lose a lot of money,  because most of the times I only get back 50% of the money I spend.

I like to build cars and enjoy it if its for myself , but not so much that I accept the 50% loss on almost a brand new car that only run 1 time, and every one is trying to get it for a bargian.

In the end it felt like an total waste of money instead of a hobby, and that I had better spend the money on my family or other stuff.

Second thing was that I forced myself to run at least a few times a week a car because I had a lot of cars en spend  a lot of money on them.

So what have I learned first of all, not buy every car on sale, and only buy hopups that are necessary, and do not force myself to do rc stuff if I don't feel like it.

So now I am more relaxed with the hobby, and also very picky when it comes to buying new models and parts, only buy something that you really want and like.

[Nikko85 3767]

I wouldn't say a dark period, but I certainly go up and down a lot.

At the moment I'm just realising that I have much much less time to play then when I did when I got back in to RC childfree at the start of lockdown.

However my little boy (2 years) is obsessed with vehicles and although it's super early to tell he really likes Duplo and making, so I really hope it'll be something I can share with him for a good few years.

[urban warrior 407]

Well, regarding RC's my "darkest time" was my wedlock.   Eleven years with funds at the edge and not much sympathy for my hobby from my former wife. But that's nothing compared to other folks fate. Who all have my sympathy. My wife is long gone. After that I told all the following women "You get me with my hobby or you won't get me!"

Since I am building models since I was eight or nine, it has always been "my thing". There was nothing where I earned more relief than building models. And even today I feel like being eight or nine (actually you can put a "fifty" in front of it ... ), when I am opening an new model kit, either static or RC.

I've seen some people starting with our hobby and quitting some years later. It really depends on what you get out of it. For me it's clear, they will put a model and tools together with me in my coffin.

Actually there is a phase where I am a bit frustrated. I left my former company after thirty years with some payoff and an employee pension. I still have to work until 67 to get my official pension. But I don't find a work which makes me lucky. Even though I am 59, I am not too old for the $h!t. I trained my former colleagues using our SAP system shortly before I left the company and believe I am still able to learn what is required to do the job. Most companies just look at the age. But my models still keep me alive.

Regarding my opening sentence, there is a joke here around:

And old couple is celebrating eighty years of being married. And when they asked the man about this time and if he remembered if there was a best part in it, he answered: "The ten years as a POW in Russia!" (If this is too offending, let me know, and I will delete it.)

[Kowalski86 3984]

They come and go for me, the prices and attitudes that go around really turn me off sometimes. Lately I've just been more interested in cheaper, more accessible, and practical hobbies.

Edit: I'd like to clarify my last statement. One of my other hobbies is art (thus the clay penguin), if I need art supply I have two local stores dedicated to art, my LHS itself, or I can grab some from most regular stores. Art supply goes on sale frequently, and I have a handful of brands to choose from.

With RC, sales are an anomaly, I only have one LHS to buy anything RC related (and 75% of their parts are Traxxas due to contract), and they take up more room than my art supply.

[hairyjon 94]

Congratulations on coming out the other end.

I'm currently in the process of selling about 70% of my collection. I wouldn't call it a dark time. My life is pretty sorted, what has happened is that over the last year or so I have started to feel that the collection in some way controlled what I wanted. I had decided I needed a new house as the collection needs to be displayed, I worried fairly regularly about the collection being damaged etc, and that I was responsible for preserving the collection for the future, the list goes on and its pretty stupid (which probably says something about me).

In selling a large number I plan to refocus on enjoying it and not taking it so seriously. Buy, build, sell....

[moffman 5925]

Well done you @nowinaminute and the best for the future and I wish you all the fortune for the future! The country needs small entrepreneurs it’s what makes the economy!,  I work with a lot of small little businesses and “one man bands” so to speak and they (you) are worth their weight in gold for the countries economy 

I have a lot of dark phases with building RC I think I’m having one as we speak although I’ve just built my RC10 it was very half hearted and I’m looking at a big clear out of a good majority of my collection that’s sitting in boxes and normally I’d be chomping at the bit waiting for a new buggy like the optima pro but I’m just not bothered but I know eventually it’ll pass might take a few months or so?

[speedy_w_beans 4277]

Started a new job in mid-2019 and haven't had much time to play with the toys since then.  I still stop in and lurk from time to time, but sitting down and making the time for the hobby has been almost impossible.  I'm in that "dark" period now.

[nowinaminute 3320]

On 6/11/2024 at 1:56 AM, SlideWRX said:

Congrats on managing to re-invent your income - that is pretty tough.

Honestly it was incredibly stressful. The biggest issues were knowing I would never find the flexibility with school runs etc which literally made my daily life possible and then just a whole bundle of mental health issues like low confidence, performance anxiety, social anxiety etc. I've never been officially diagnosed but pretty sure I have ASD because some things I just find ridiculously difficult and terrifying way beyond the realms of reasonable.

The job I had, I'd been there most of my adult working life and had been incredibly fortunate to find a small company with just two other staff members so the whole thing was quite close knit, relaxed and informal. It was basically like working with 2 mates and the owner was incredibly laid back and accommodating when it came to work/life balance. It was just so compatible with how I was and how my life is. After the bad news, I just had these nightmarish visions of trying to find work for some large corporation or retail chain etc where everything would be different in a negative way. No flexibility when it came to being a parent, no leniency when it comes to frequently being let down by public transport etc etc. It felt like staring onto the Abyss. 

I still find it hard to believe that it's been 2 years now. I've managed to keep a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes on backs etc and for the first time in my life, I even have a little bit of money saved. I I can't quite believe it's me doing it, or that somehow what I've done isn't quite the same as what people who do it "for real" do. 

 

On 6/11/2024 at 1:56 AM, SlideWRX said:

I'm not too surprised - it has happened to plenty of technical jobs, and 'they' have been trying to outsource engineering to other countries for 20+ years, but it finally kicked into high gear with functional remote work.

My situation has parallels , although not on the same level of skill I'm sure. I was trained to "remanufacture" laser toner cartridges and similar which basically involved disassembly, replacing parts and refilling them etc.

They are really quite complicated things and there was a lot to learn when you factored in different designs and brands etc.

It was still quite a young industry in the scheme of things, not much in the way of standardised training or anything like that, a lot of it self taught from the little reference materials there happened to be. The kind of situation where you're in some ways doing the work of a skilled technician but there isn't really any kind of established industry framework in place to give context or recognition to what you're doing.

For a while, it looked like the sector would grow significantly and that I had a useful head start and might actually be able to progress somewhere.

It seemed to fall apart over night, though. I guess someone realised that it was cheaper to just buy brand new generic cartridges from China rather than go to the effort of remanufacturing used cartridges. The environmental angle was dropped like a hot stone and the rest is history.

From then on, I went from having an instrumental role to increasingly just being a sales assistant which was worrying but things seemed to hobble along ok for a good few years. Then covid happened, takings plummeted and things just never recovered to an extent where my salary was viable for them. They basically used the coronavirus grant from the local authorities to carry on paying me, hoping things would recover, but they just never went back to where they were.

One positive thing, is that when I settled on the ebay thing, the boss was only too happy for me carry on using my workshop there as my base of operations, so I have a rent free place to work and don't have to have my house cluttered up with it all. Not only is it incredibly useful, but it means there wasn't the massive change to my every day working life I was fearing. In many ways it's like business as usual except I just do slightly different things there now and I can come and go as I please.








 

[nowinaminute 3320]

On 6/11/2024 at 7:57 AM, Mad Ax said:

A week ago I stripped down a friends 3-wheeled scooter to fix a starting problem, which was kinda fun, but frustrating, and it felt too "important" - it doesn't matter if I screw up an RC project, I can take it apart and build something else or try again next week / month / year, but if I screw up a motorbike then it could cost thousands, or could cost me my life if it fails on the road.

I know what you mean. I'm like it with photography. I enjoy doing it for me and if I mess up, no big deal. People try and pester me to do wedding photography etc but I think I'd be a nervous wreck with that much riding on my shoulders. It would really kill my enjoyment of it, I think. I'd begin to associate it with stress and expectations and pressure etc.

[nowinaminute 3320]

On 6/11/2024 at 9:04 AM, Badcrumble said:

Well done on finding your way back after all that hard work. Give yourself the credit - certainly not easy. 

Looking forward to seeing your RC work on here again!

Unfortunately it just seems to be a big part of who I am. Not sure if I heard too many knock backs and put downs as a kid or what, but I can never quite seem to accept when I've achieved something. I always tell myself that my situation is a fluke or chance or just not quite the same as anyone else doing the exact same thing. All the while I see what I can only describe as idiots with the confidence of geniuses  

[nowinaminute 3320]

On 6/11/2024 at 11:48 AM, Saito2 said:

I'm sorry to hear about your dark spell. Uncertainty and change can be scary.

It absolutely can. I believe I may have some autistic tendencies which doesn't help in that regard. Not all change bothers me, but some things definitely do. Even silly things like my kid changing schools or a local shop I've been going to for years closing, certain changes in routine can really unsettle me. Plus of course the whole unemployment thing hah.
 

On 6/11/2024 at 11:48 AM, Saito2 said:

RC is usually my "safe place", mentally.

This is the problem with me, when I go over a certain stress/anxiety level, stuff I usually enjoy or retreat to just goes out the window. I was a shell for a couple of months, didn't even enjoy music or watching tv any more. Just existing rather than living. But even after getting started on the new career, I was just way too stressed and anxious to even think about doing anything RC related. Like a constant feeling of unease and anxiety that just saps the colour out of everything.

I've managed a couple of little dabbles here and there, but something more significant has taken hold the last few weeks for sure. Hopefully it lasts!
 

On 6/11/2024 at 11:48 AM, Saito2 said:

Tamiya's first venture into MAP pricing, where everything jumped up in price a great deal literally overnight, got me bent out of shape. Associated's pricing and tactics with the latest RC10 rerelease were disappointing to me, but I guess you voice your opinion when asked and move on.

I know exactly what you mean, though. It does take the fun out of it sometimes. And I feel the same way about associated. I waited years for an RC10 classic, but there's no way on earth I'm paying that much because I'll never want to use and enjoy it. Not only is the price high, but the availability is terrible, as well, which will no doubt lead to scalpers. The strangest thing is it's currently easier AND cheaper to buy the ltd edition clear one, but again, you daren't drive the thing let alone really let loose and enjoy it.

 

[nowinaminute 3320]

On 6/11/2024 at 12:22 PM, yogi-bear said:

congrats on successfully navigating the redundancy, self employment is not easy and certainly not for everyone. I have been self employed for about 25yrs and have had many highs and lows, but now I would find it hard to go back to a 9 to 5 job.

It's definitely been a rollercoaster, and I tend to get overly anxious and fixated on things, too, so there have been some really gruelling times and some unpleasant, unreasonable people with a misplaced sense of entitlement.

But on the other hand, there have been great experiences and it's so rewarding when someone acknowledges your efforts and says a few kind word of appreciation and acknowledgement. 

With ebay in particular, it took long time to get used to how unpredictable sales patterns etc can be. Some very strange patterns emerge that seem to be more to do with algorithms than chance. And yet things always seem to even out in the long run. I've had months that started abysmally but have been perfectly normal by month end and vice versa. After 2 years, I'm just about starting to get used to it and not worry too much when it goes quiet.

I'm slowly starting to appreciate the quiet times and make the most of it while I can, before things inevitably go through a crazy phase from one extreme to the other. 

And yes, going back to a 9-5 at this point would not be pleasant! Especially now that I'm learning to have a better work/life balance.

 

 

On 6/11/2024 at 12:22 PM, yogi-bear said:

I am probably in a semi dark phase at the moment. When I was able to do more RC things, work was a bit quiet, now work is crazy and will be for a number of years to come, which means I have very little time for RC, but ironically I can afford more things.

It has been similar for me. Not a rich many by any stretch of the definition, but I do have a little bit of disposable income that never existed before. But until recently I haven't had the time or inclination to do anything RC related. Slowly learning to have a better balance between work and life, and realising that some of what I classed as work was really just needlessly obsessing and worrying "a watched pot never boils" as they say.

[Saito2 7250]

10 hours ago, nowinaminute said:

This is the problem with me, when I go over a certain stress/anxiety level, stuff I usually enjoy or retreat to just goes out the window. I was a shell for a couple of months, didn't even enjoy music or watching tv any more. Just existing rather than living. But even after getting started on the new career, I was just way too stressed and anxious to even think about doing anything RC related. Like a constant feeling of unease and anxiety that just saps the colour out of everything.

I can understand that. When I go into sheer panic mode, even my special interest take a backseat. I tend to stay at bad jobs far too long just because I'm terrified of messing up the routine along with fear of the unknown and the pressures of being the sole breadwinner. The devil you know is better than the one you don't sort of thing. When you stay on when every other person in the place has quit and moved on, that's a sign. When 50% of the places I've worked have gone under after I left, that's a sign too I guess.

Last December, I was screwed over pretty hard by my employer over an injury on the job. Even with all of management on my side, HR wouldn't budge so I changed jobs. I didn't think about RC for awhile either while exploring my new surroundings. I was internally panicked. I'm slowly getting the hang of it and this new employer is vastly better in every way possible. Interest in hobbies has come back, but it took time honestly and I suppose that's the point of my ramble. We are creatures of habit on the spectrum and while things may seem chaotic now, things eventually do settle down into a routine. Outside of being in war-time, life is usually more about routine than chaos. It is very hard, if not impossible to see that when we are in the midst of an upsetting period. BTW, I know the "empty shell" feeling from trying SSRI's once for my anxiety. I'm sorry you experienced that feeling. It was worse than the anxiety in many ways.

[magnumb 122]

A few things I've realized over my life that has kept me from enjoying my hobbies:

- It's my relationship to thinking and thoughts....this is why I get "dark" and unhappy ultimately. I need to be outcome/thought independent to be in a good place...this one is hard for me.

- realizing that the completion of anything never comes and never going to get to the end of line where everything becomes easy...i need to tussle with life and play with it and forgot of getting anywhere really 

-don't change my mind to please Anyone! If i do then i've realized i lose trust in myself and then my relationship suffers.

- and lastly, I'm just something through which the whole cosmos looks out....nothing more really and the chances of me being on this earth is incredibly slim. I won the lottery already and it's beautiful! and also incredibly terrifying and sad more often than not. Just keeping this in the back of my mind has helped me enjoy things more  and get out of a dark phase.