Wives Or Girlfriends Picking The Wrong Battle....

[Nick83]

Last night I tell my wife that I am interested again in the hobby, and I have a list of kits that I plan on getting over the course of this year.

She proceeded to go on a *****y fit saying, "You don't need all that stuff. I don't want you to have all that. This is crazy. Why do you want all these? These are expensive, why are you wasting money? etc etc etc"

I NEVER fight, and I have a near perfect relationship, but I just lost it.

I told her to "Never, ever mess with my hobby again. Stay far away. I am the man, and I will buy whatever I want. This is the wrong battle to pick, because you are going to lose. How dare you try to stop the one thing that makes me happy."

She has no reasons to hate my hobby, but for some reason, she is against it, and it ******* me off.

And I can afford it financially, so it ******** me off even more when she starts complaining about the money part of it. I told her: "If I am ever that broke that I can't afford my hobby, I'll just eat less. Instead of spending $100 a week on food, I'll spend $30. It won't be fun, but who needs food anyway? badword, I'd even stop drinking beer just to keep my hobby going." This ******* her off even more.

Then she said she was going to start buying dolls, and I said, "Go ahead, and leave my hobby alone."

Women.............I cannot understand this at all. This argument WILL happen again, I am sure. But that's ok, because I'm buying a Clodbuster, a LunchBox, a Pajero, a Landcruiser, and others. haha.

I tried to explain to her that the hobby is addictive. She complained about where we would put all these vehicles, and she was talking about the 5 I have now. I told her, "You're worried about 5 of them? You better get ready because theres going to be a lot more than that. 20, 30, 40, I don't know where it's going to go from here, but expect a lot."

Edited May 14, 2008 by TWINSET
Implied/Abbreviated swearing removed

[Shodog]

I forsee lots of problems in your future. Couples fight over money all the time I think the key here is to show her the benefits of R/C.

1. It's cheaper than having a 1:1 car hobby.

2. Generally your at home instead of out with the guys at the sports bars or titty bars and what not.

3. Let her know that if gives you great satisfaction to build something start to finish.

In addition I would cut your list of cars you want by 75%. At least until she's on board with your habit.

[Illacrew]

Girls are greedy. I have over 20 RC's and spend most of my time locked in the dungeon working on them. I have found that by letting my girlfriend pick her favorite car then building it up like a tank so she can't break it worked well. at first she was ******* now we go to the track together. Maybe try to find a way to include her. Like asking her what colors to use for bodies ect. If that don't work buy twice as many!!!!

[ryanbored]

Had a beer by any chance?!!

Sorry but you seem angry! I find a couple of things work. I have "date nights" when we go out, have fun and I can't pick up a Tamiya spanner!

Then I have "silly little toy" nights, when she goes out with friends I get left alone and can go to bed as late as I like (Like this time of night ). Sounds daft but I think we have a good balance. Also everything else comes before Toys. It's tough, but the money I have left over Is toy money, not the money I get paid.

Oh and involve her. I race model boats, so we make a day of it, I get to meet my friends and play with my toys, but we also get to spend time together and have a BBQ at the lake.

Oh and establish a limit. (toy wise) A reasonable one, like no more than 10 toys, or 5k or whatever fits your circumstances.

Oh and lay off the swearing

Oh and chill, there is nothing worse than you're enjoyable hobby stressing you out.

Ryan

[Nick83]

I need a beer!

Well, that post was real, but is was supposed to be interpreted in a slightly comical way.

I have an awesome, nonfighting relationship, but this is the only thing that really bothers me.

I have tried to get her involved, but she has absolutely no interest. I have tried to explain all the positive things about R/C. I think she is jealous of the hobby............

It's all her fault too because she discovered and bought me a Tamiya F350 High Lift for Christmas. Since then, I've been hooked.

[RCH_Blackfoot]

My X-wife was the same way, hence the part of the word "X" I had a bad addiction to Model cars and RCs at the time. I worked 70 hours a week driving for Interstate Batteries and how I relaxed was to build and bash. We were young and I wasnt willing to spend the rest of my life with someone who wasn't willing understand or accept me for who I am and what I enjoy.

11 years alone, being a single dad, I kept the hobbys going strong. I have had my 2 sons involved in it for years now. Well 5 years ago I met my wife in the Philippines on vacation. We have been married for 4 years and have 2 children together. I have her interested in the hobby or RC's, as I quit building models 2 years ago. She has her own hopped up Blackfoot Extreme, I have my hopped up Clod, LST2, Wheely King Crawler and Frog and each of my sons have Ofna 1/8 nitro buggies. The younger of them is saving his money he makes working for his grandpa for a Hornet or Grasshopper kit.

We have the relationship that I have always dreamed of, we share all the household duties, we do everything together, even trips to the hobby shop. In 5 years we had one disagreement and it was my fault coz I was in a bad mood from loosing my job. Now Im self employed and work 3 hours a day. You need to share the duties, try to get involved in something she enjoys, like my wife its cooking. Being a bachlor for 11 years, I picked up alot on cooking, thanks to the food channels, Emeril Live and Yahn Can Cook. I also had her show me "her way" of doing the laundry and thats another way I relax is washing and folding all the families clothes.

[MetBoy]

For me the key is stockpiling!

I have not built a car for myself in about ten years. Work, then a girlfriend, then she became my wife, buying a house, renovating it, then we had a kid. It is amazing how the time flies! I would not swap a minute of it for anything. To me it is as important as any hobby! I have not forgotten about it though.

I have been spending the last 6 years or so collecting a nice little pile of kits to build when things slow down a bit, and I actually find a bit of time for myself again! In the meantime I have a dabble here and there, and keep my hand in building kits for a mate who hates building his!

I am counting up the days!

[Nick83]

I just want her to understand, but for some reason, she can't. She is smart and very understanding about everything else, but this is something she hasn't understood yet.

I thought about secretly building her a vehicle and painting it pink. Making it all custom for her.

She is just going to have to accept it, or live with it either way.

[Dances With Cages]

Just a thought here...

Maybe she sees all the kits you're planning to get as being the the same thing, and you may have more joy with something a little different. To an untrained eye an F-350 looks much like a Pajero, not too different to a Clodbuster and so on.

If she is keen to buy and decorate dolls for a hobby then get right behind her with some support and encouragement, even if they all look the same to you. Feeling free to express your creativity is a wonderful thing, so offer her as much acceptance as you'd like in return.

Hope the pair of you find some happy middle ground, Justin.

[Nick83]

It's funny you say that, because I showed her a Pajero today, and she said "Isn't that the one you already have?", meaning the F350.

[pagedm_f350]

Ahhh, the age old battle

I had an ex-girlfriend 14 years ago that tried to interfere with my money and hobbies, nuff' said on that one!

My wife and I came up with a system that works perfect, we get X amount of $$$ per fortnight from the family budget into our own accounts, (pocket money if you will) we spend it on whatever we want no questions asked no arguments had. This has worked for us for 12 years no problems.

The only conflict is how much time I spend in my hobby room, still in negotiations....

[lucasan]

Funny, my gf thinks it's cool that I have a little project going. I prepped her for a while by looking at the Hotshot rere kit on ebay and whistfully waxing nostalgic about my old rc hobby days. She was totally accepting of it and didn't even bat an eyelash. She knows I'm an overgrown adolescent and she loves me anyway. I told her I was going to get her a car, but that I'd build it for her and she laughed. She actually probably would tinker with it once I get a 2nd transmitter. Getting my Hotshot II in UPS tomorrow. Maybe I'll let her run the Hotshot and I can run the II.

Nik maybe you should have eased her into it without overloading her. She probably sees this as a huge money hole and even worse, a thing that will take you away from her.

[taliesin]

my wife is awesome. while stressing during law school finals she bought me my 1st rc as a gift. then she bought me a mini baja for ground hogs day. then we saw the micro baja and i went nuts over it, so she snuck out one day and bought it as a surprise gift. during the summer while studying for the bar exam i was horrified to see my 1st rc detonate because of a dead short in the faulty battery pack. she suggested that i go buy my 1st tamiya and reuse the radio gear and what parts i could salvage. what a lady!

since then, i've gone on a bender and i now have somewhere around 20 models, mostly tamiya. naturally. and enough parts and spares to build a few more i guess. and the list is stilling growing for models i'm saving for like the cr-01 and others. she just laughs and says its good to see me happy. after so many years of high stress, law school, bar exams and job hunting, she is right. its good to be happy again. i've paid my dues and then some. so when i come home from work and straight away i grab a radio and go back outside, she just laughs at me and smiles.

she has her hobbies, and i have mine. works great and we both spend plenty of time together doing things we both like, so it works out fine for everybody. i doubt she will ever get interested in rc, but hey, she is a crack shot with a rifle or pistol, plays a wicked game of pool and loves to watch formula 1, grand prix and ralleye racing. what's not to love?

[yamita]

Have a beer and chill

[WillyChang]

She has no reasons to hate my hobby, but for some reason, she is against it, and it ******** me off.

well SHE bought you the F350 which started the whole addiction thing isn't it?

thus its HER fault, you're just an unwitting victim

...because I'm buying a Clodbuster, a LunchBox, a Pajero, a Landcruiser, and others. haha.

I tried to explain to her that the hobby is addictive. She complained about where we would put all these vehicles, ...

the bedroom!

perfect display place for shelfqueens and you get to stare at them dreamingly whenever you can't get to sleep

At least you're only bringing back nice shiny new boxes.

Just wait till the addiction spreads to lugging back dusty dirty greasy rusty old half-cars.

(you might want to ask her nicely to use DARK COLOURS if she's recarpeting, think ahead!)

[Wireless]

Tough one and I feel your pain. First off, I'd apologies for having a go at her. I know it prolly doesn't seem like your fault, but hey, it'll put her in the right frame of mind. Like Jim said, I'd go at it slowly explaining your rationale behind the desire to pursue the hobby. Why you like it, why it's better than something else you could be doing and that it doesn't impact on the family life (in terms of $'s, time spent with her etc). Ask her why she thinks you shouldn't take up the hobby again and ask her to justify it (ie: not just because she doesn't like you spending money on something she sees as a waste of funds). Hundreds of thousands of people enjoy r/c worldwide with zero detriment to their life outside of r/c so why shouldn't you...?

I guess I have been lucky in this respect. My ex is a TC member and loves her RC's. My current GF isn't interested at all but realises it's "my thing" and leaves me to it. In fact, she stumbled in the front door at 7am this morning with a box of 6 Tamiya kits and a load of spare parts that the postie had just delivered and didn't bat an eylid...!

That said, she spends $'s on fancy cosmetics and has a horse. I don't complain about that, it's her stuff.

Good luck and have that beer

[B.M.T.]

I'm lucky - Before the move to Sydney, Mrs BMT actually went off her own back to find where all the clubs were close to the new home. Also, I'm building her a CC-01 chassis Soobie Brat as book ends to run with my Mu.

[HereBeMonsters]

My missus has got bored with me never having any money due to my 1/1 car habit, so I think she's quite happy that I'm getting back into the R/C stuff.

Plus it means I can go on "walks" with her to places instead of staying in and playing Wii..

[Tamiya1/10]

Have a beer and chill

Hey, how did you got hold of a picture of my wife while serving my friends and me while racing in my bad yard?

She maintains, builts and decals all my RC and urge me to buy more or at least 2, 1 as runner and 1 as NIB.

The key is like Ryanbored motto, "buy it, hide it, build it, run it and sell it"

I think if you have your own spare money, you should be allowed to spend how you see fit. You Mrs. must have lots of shoes? clothing? make up? purse? jewelary? kitchen ware/ dishes? etc....and could gentley remind her that you don't get on her case when she bought the 25th pairs of shoes or whatever.

Hope everything will work out

Cheers

[pedromondo]

This is the best thread ever ;-)

Women eh ? You can't live with 'em, you can't live with 'em (or something like that).

Pete

[Origineelreclamebord]

Oh boy am I glad I don't have a girlfriend (yet) (and having a wife would be quite early... I'm not even 18 yet).

But maybe you should look at it differently... I think it would be a good thing to have a relationship with a person who looks differently at the expenses of your hobby than you. Sometimes you just need to reset for a moment and think what you're doing... Since it is very difficult (or let's say for some people impossible) to do for yourself it's an efficient way of keeping you out of financial trouble

And lets be honest... Would you have a better time when your wife or girlfriend would be as (or more) enthusiastic about your hobby as you are? I doubt it.

You could try to make her a bit more enthusiastic about your hobby though... Buy a nice (reliable) car with a shell that you know she would like. Give it as a gift and who knows

[blakeatron]

I really dont understand this thread!

Me and my wife pay our wages into a joint bank account - We dont earn a fortune but we are quite comfortable, I buy whatever models i want and she buys what she wants, easy as.

If she wants to go out she goes out, if i want to work on my cars i work on them - relationships are give and take, The wife says she likes it that she knows where i am!

[yamita]

Girls/women should be thankful that we're not out looking for their replacements.

[Badboy]

Ask her how many shoes shes got!!!

She can only use one pair at the time!!!

My girl are so awesome!

She asks me if I need to "fix" my cars, just so she can be for here self...

She even recomend go on with Xbox-Live

I gave her my mini Monster Beetle and she though it was cute and liked it!

My girl got 50 something pair of shoes and never complains bout my RC collection (I love you honey!!!)

Hope everything works out fine for ya'

What ever you do don't leave/let her leave you!!!

Theres only one for ya' out there, remember that!

Badboy

[macmeniac]

Have a beer and chill

this looks like the "Oktober Fest"

lots of beer and...