Who Else Has Problems With Their Partner?

[MAD RACER]

My Partner hates my R/C habbit,

Keeps saying i need to grow up and stop playing with toys.

I really think its because she hates the money i spend,

Another reason is i feel she gets jelous over the enjoyment i get.

Do you have any problems like me???????

Love to here it if so , will make me feel a little better as im 40 now and can't see no end.

[skinned]

My Partner hates my R/C habbit,

Keeps saying i need to grow up and stop playing with toys.

I really think its because she hates the money i spend,

Another reason is i feel she gets jelous over the enjoyment i get.

Do you have any problems like me???????

Love to here it if so , will make me feel a little better as im 40 now and can't see no end.

tell her your going to drop all r/c...and your going to take up a new hobby.."going to the bar everynight"....then she'll probably would love for you to go back your r/c....

[Olly_Lunchbox]

Vintage discussions?!

What are you implying?

[Tamiya1/10]

My Partner hates my R/C habbit,

Keeps saying i need to grow up and stop playing with toys.

I really think its because she hates the money i spend,

Another reason is i feel she gets jelous over the enjoyment i get.

Do you have any problems like me???????

Love to here it if so , will make me feel a little better as im 40 now and can't see no end.

Translation...

She hates u for playing with all your rabbits.

She would rather you play with her.

She wants you to spend the money on her.

She gets no enjoyment because she get no play nor pay.

I don't have any problems like yours because I sleep in the guest bedroom and she in the master....so you know who wears the pants in the family

I am older than you so I can see there is no end yet....and want to feel better???? you just want to buy another RC...the F1 Wolf am I right!

[WillyChang]

Vintage discussions?!

What are you implying?

40yo... that's fair.

@Mark: care package coming your way shortly. Sorry got nothing to sooth the wife, not my area of expertise.

[Gruntfuggly]

It's a shame the pictures have gone from the old thread showing what Corpse Thrower buys his wife to keep her quiet...

http://www.tamiyaclub.com/forum/index.php?...c=29573&hl=

Have a read - you'll be happy that all she does is call them toys!

[MadInventor]

My Partner hates my R/C habbit,

Keeps saying i need to grow up and stop playing with toys.

I really think its because she hates the money i spend,

Another reason is i feel she gets jelous over the enjoyment i get.

Do you have any problems like me???????

Love to here it if so , will make me feel a little better as im 40 now and can't see no end.

When I first met my G/F, I had a 5litre '86 Trans Am, that used to drink money faster than petrol. (UK fuel prices ). She hated me overtaking on A roads in it as being LHD, she was very close to hedges passing by at speed. So if I get complaints about spending on tamiya, I can threaten to sell them all and buy a corvette .

My problem is that I spend to much time the workshop, slaving over the lathe and the miller making my own parts, end up spending 4 hours doing something when I promised it would only take one .....

[SteelRat]

I had a wife that used to complain about everything I did even before I got in to RC.

When I got my MB back from my parents to start a "little project" to make a change, her first reaction was "Great. Where are you going to put it?"

The divorce came through last October.

[fatboyslim]

Guess i'm lucky my mrs doesn't really see why i'm attracted to RC, I tell her it's not just the driving, but the buildingand tinkering also come into the appeal

I don't drink and recently stopped smoking and so long as I pay my share of household bills then she says I can spend my money on what I like (except women)

[taliesin]

I used to have that problem. I got an R/C car for her. Good trade, that.

[taliesin]

No partners were traded in the former post. She's an absolute champ, but I couldn't resist.

Well, come on, somebody had to say it right?

[berman]

Balance and sacrifice.

I think you need to sit her down and talk to her, explain that this is your hobby and every man needs an escape from the real world.

There needs to be rules or guidelines between you two and both of you need to know what's going on, that goes for RC's, money, and time spent on yourself and together, there always has to be a balance, it will never be a perfect balance, but as long as you make an honest attempt to make ammends and/or an effort, she will forgive you and in most cases be happy.

I generally earn nearly twice as much as my partner, she doesn't get alot of money to play with after we pay the bills etc.

So as long as the bills have been paid etc I get the "It's your money, you can do what you want with it", but if I go all out spending every spare cent on RC's she wont get anything (next to no spare money), so once every now and then I like to take her shopping, give her cash or buy her something nice. She also gets me little suprises (and so far 3 RC's!) Like I said, it's all about balance.

Right now as we are in a reccession, I dont quite earn as much as normally would (no overtime), so I have a small casual part-time job through a mate which is earning me my 'play money' for RC's. She also has a full-time job and a second part-time job too (We dont have kids). I am also spending a little too much time on the internet (here for example) and not enough with her, so she watches the TV or plays Oblivion while I'm looking at RC stuff.

I know I need to spend less time on myself and more on us together, so I will either turn the computer off, or put my RC's away, and go do something with her, that either she, or we, both enjoy. I also have many other hobbies apart from RC's, e.g, a caged car in the garage, PS3 and games, guitar etc, so I know I dont have time for them all. Both people have to make sacrifices to make each other happy and relationships take work.

It's not fair for her to call them stupid toys, but maybe she's angry and using this as a way to get at you? If it is, it's the wrong way to go about getting your attention as it is just going to make things worse.

Sit her down and talk to her, (show her this thread?) and try to come to some sort of mutual agreement where you can have your RC's/RC time and she can have what she wants.

You will need to do this if shes worth holding onto.

All the Best

[BeetleLover]

I am very fortunate to have a Fiancee who really doesn't mind my RC hobby and in fact enjoys it, Kelly has gotten involved herself on a number of occasions... When we got together about 4 years ago I must have had perhaps a dozen cars, now I have in excess of 70. Early on in our relationship I bought her a Frog for her birthday, she assembled herself with the exception of setting up the radio gear, she also painted and decal'd it herself. We would go out regularly on excursions to find a cool place to run them, explore and have picnic lunches etc... We met up with Axxl1 and friends several times and enjoyed running a bunch of cars on an outing. A couple of years later I introduced her to racing at the New Zealand Electric Offroad Nationals... her first event was a National event and she surprised herself when she bet a couple of guys. Her Frog had been sold and replaced with a Desert Gator to give her a bit more ommph... Next came her Baldre which she ran particularly well but she became a little self conscious of beating guys in a largely male dominated sport. We all need to encourage more women to get involved! I'm currently allowed to buy a car if it's in the first 100... not a bad restriction... Beyond a 100 cars we'd simply run out of room with family to store them anyways! We are currently saving for a house for when we return back to New Zealand from Australia, a room to display my collection and a workshop to work on them goes without saying... I feel for those of you out there whose partners don't get out fascination with these cars, here's hoping that one day they'll adopt the attitude "if you can't beat them, join them!" I don't smoke, drink or get fresh with other women but hey I'll restore vintage Tamiya and run the odd car round a track from time to time, doesn't sound like too big an ask!

[Swarm]

Sorry to read that you wifey feels that way about your enthusiasm for a hobby you get extreme enjoyment out of .

I had this conversation with a mate yesterday who works in one of Australia'a biggest hobby shops he said excatly the same as I did he tells his wife would she rather he was at the pub picking up skanks or down in the shed working on r/c projects .I encourage my wife to be apart of what I do at present I am building my wife a "Z" scale trainset into a coffe table it was her idea

If my wife see's something she likes online or in the shops I NEVER say no you should not buy that I encourage her .

I must have an understanding wife at present our main loungeroom in our house if full of metal shelves along the wall stacked to overflowing with kits and covered in drop cloths it looks pretty bad but my wife never ever complains full credit to her she has been very patient with my obbsession. I would like to think if it was something she liked to collect say Muppet characters or Royal doulton china I would be as patient but I am not sure .

Perhaps it is the money you spend maybe you wife desires more things for the house first I am not aware of your financial situation but with everything there is a trade off ,If you spend huge amounts of money on a hobby go out all the time with your mates spend a lot of time and money down the pub and come home all hours of the night ,if you dont have time for your children or you dont show your partner any affection or attention then yeah something is going to give and it will usually be the first thing your partner see's as a threat .

My wife gives me an allowence as well $300.00 a week into my paypal I can either save it up or blow it all at once it my choice ,my wife and I came to this descion early on when I started collecting we both felt it was something that needed to be sorted out or it may have become a problem I needed to have boundries (or a leash if you like) I am hopeless with money if I have it I spend it where as my wife handles all the expenses in and out of the house and pays all the bills to tell you the truth I have no idea what my pin number is on my bank card it spends its life in my wife's purse and that is the way I like it really .

Perhaps you should sit down with your wife and sort it out before it becomes a problem that really affects your relationship I am sure you both have valid points if you both care about each other it is worth working out .

I am 42 and I dont see them as silly toys either does my wife each to their own ,So I dont think its an age thing everybody needs an outlet to express themselves if your 40 and this is happening if it was me I would look at other aspects of my relationship "Like what can I do to make my wife feel content and happy" Guys like to sort problems out its the way we are wired we dont like to hear things we can't sort out ,we like to hear this is what the problem is and this is what the solution is and we then know okay I can fix that as there is a solution if we are confronted with just problems we tend to become deaf to them if my wife or my kids have a problem I ask them what do you want me to do to fix this .

But flexability on both parts is a must give and take not just take .

Snap Berman .

Stuart.

[TWINSET]

It's a shame the pictures have gone from the old thread showing what Corpse Thrower buys his wife to keep her quiet...

http://www.tamiyaclub.com/forum/index.php?...c=29573&hl=

Have a read - you'll be happy that all she does is call them toys!

Pics sorted

[Jumpinugly]

Like any relationship there is an equal give and take. Perhaps your partner doesn't have a hobby or

if she does, remind her of it. Consider it a trade-off. Honesty is always the best policy.

Yet, just for grins, how many of us have gone through talks like this?

"What do you want?" "What is the problem?" "Is it the money, is it the paint smell, maybe

it's the nitro or the various chemicals that destroyed the coffee table?"

"Perhaps if you have an issue with my vintage Ligier pan car, explain to me what exactly the problem is."

"Look at that beautiful French Blue."

"And you can't help but love Happy Jacques Lafitte. Who's Jacques Lafitte?" "Well, he's....

"I can't read your mind, but if you the time to calmly explain, I am sure we can come to some sort

of agreement, oh that box (?) it's a original black Lotus 79 body set. You know Mario Andretti right?"

"Got if for a song..."

"Wait a minute, that Tyrell cost less than those shoes you just brought!"

"So, the kids will eat ramen until my next paycheck to cover the original Rough Rider chassis."

"Sweetheart, better these cars and the smell of spray paint than me toolin' around with another gal."

[kaiser]

i have a few hobbies: rc's, volkswagens, collecting military rifles and american football.

my wife loves vw's too so thats never been an issue but rc's and guns have been an issue from time to time.

due to the economy and all the various wars around the world the price of ammo has skyrocketed, so i don't shoot much at all anymore. (in fact i haven't been to the range in over a year)

i even sold a few rifles. that made her happy.

i haven't been to the track with my vw this year either.

i have spent alot of time with rc's though, more this year than in years past. i recently got back into offroad racing again and thats what she had issue with.

my wife is leagally blind, she can see but can't read or drive anymore, so she's stuck at home all day with our 1 year old son. so the weekends is when i'm home and can help her.

if i race on a saturday she get's a little mad because thats one of the days she looks foward to me helping out. so i found another track that races on wednesday evenings.

that made her very happy that i no longer race on sarurdays.

i explained to her how much rc helps me relax, reminds me of the good times i had when i was a kid with my father and how much i look foward to my son growing up and joining me in the rc hobby.

now that she understands what rc means to me and that i have stopped racing on saturdays she's been much better about the hobby.

now we just need to buy a new house so i can move my rc's out of the garage. i want "my own room" so bad.

[Kokuzu]

I promised I would never ride a motorcycle 'because she is too afraid.... So I did.

I got back into the RC world leaving her alone upstairs... She did not like it.

After several years I had enough of her complaints: You have something to play with, I don't.

So I bought a real sized Manx beach buggy and drive her around. Problem solved.

And I started selling my collection because there is more to life than RC modelling when it gets dark

Sometimes I seemed to forget about it. Thanks god she keeps reminding me once a while...

[lupogtiboy]

seems to me that there ARE advantages to being single after all.....

[KingPin]

Im lucky, my wife actually bought me my last few kits!

But for any problem partners, start circling the ads in Kerrang magazine, namely the drum kits and leave them on show all over the house!!!

Sorted!

KingPin

[MAD RACER]

Thanks Guys.

Well i have to say my sititation is very different to most out there . I will try to explain as quick as possable.

Ive been in R/C since i was 14. Got heavy into racing at 18 to 20 and did quite well. Gave up from 20 to 30 than got back into racing for the next 8 yrs. Now am collectting and running vintage for the pasy 2 yrs. Race very seldom but bash at our local vintage get togeathers at Boondal on Sat once a fortnight for around 5hrs.

She is 37. Has 2 kids from her x husband. A single mother as she puts it. We built a nice new house togeather with my savings and a little help from my parents to help me get a house but i put it all in the house. Yes she lives in a nice new 4 bedroom house with the bells and whisles as well. I pay half of everthing ( Morgtage, Rates, Insurance & etc) I still rent and often share that drives me insane with guys that on drugs or young couples that have no idea of life. Need to to keep my expenses down. I also now pay extra to have her nails done every fortnight. Paying for the youngest boy to do karate lessons. Every weekend spend anywhere around $60 to $100 on the weekend on dinner. If she really wants somthing (clothes ) i pay half off. Once or twice a yr take her away for a romantic stress free weekend( big $$$$) Yes she is high maintance but i love that as i like my women looking as good as she she can.

I play with my R/C at my rental every day or relax and admire my 40+ cars on display in my hobby room. Often don't work on them too much during the week as im to sore from work( Slicer at a large meat works) Pack my r/c gear up to go over to her or our house so i can do some work on them. I take over the dinning table from sunday for the day. Try not to do it on sat and take her out or watch a movie with her. Go out sat night. Sunday she watches all her recorded shows on Tivo or plays on the net while talking to me while i tinker. I metioned about saving up for 2 yrs to build a nice big shed for me to have as my workshop but i think she doesn't like that as i will always be in the shed. She won't be able to talk to me.I get so bored if i don;t do anything r/c. I guess the house doesn't feel like mine as i spend only 2 nights there. ( Am i normall feeling like that?????)

In another 5 yrs i want to move in our house . Remember i do constant night shift hence why i rent as well as a few other reasons.

Sooo all in all i think i do enough for her and her boys. ( i have no bagage. No X wife and no kids so i think she is lucky she doesn't share me with anything else except my R/C) I did have a wonderfull pet Labadore dog for 15yrs but sadly past away.

WELL INPUT please on my situation. Sorry for my spelling guys...

Thank you.

[Shodog]

I think in the end our wives and girlfriends will never understand our obsessions. Really it’s no different than them collecting purses, shoes or clothing. They just place a different importance on those items to justify their buying habits

Having gone through a divorce from a woman I thought I would stay married to for the rest of my life I’ll offer these bits of advice.

#1 If they start to complain about the time you spend on r/c’s then start spending time with them. No car, buggy or truck is worth losing your best friend over.

#2 Find ways to make extra money so that they can’t complain about how much you spend

#3 Never ever let them know the true value of your collection. Mine did and she went after and got half of its value in the divorce. It didn’t matter that I mostly used money from buying and selling on eBay. It was acquired during the marriage so she was entitled to half. Burns me up when I think about it but in the end the witch is gone and I don’t have to answer to anyone about an R/C purchase.

So the moral is if you want to keep a wife or girlfriend around, then sometimes you need to put the transmitter down and play with her toys

[chris350z]

Married life is not looking good for me then. I love my R.C cars and probbaly always will, I go fishing when ever I can sometimes up to week at a time, I play the guitar so she will moan about the noise, Me and my dad do 1:1 trialing and when I am older I like to build my one trialier, so muddy and expensive.

I think I will stay single, Just have a dog as my friend.

Chris

[MAD RACER]

Thanks Show Dog.

Funny you say that about the true value.

I really feel for you on your divorce. My collection is nothing compared to yours.

She only metioned not so long ago i should have a list written down of every car and what i think they are woth.

As for financess i had to break it off a yr ago to get my income back to myself as she had full controll of it. I had a budget of $35Au a week to spend on r/c. As we all know not enough.

My income went up aprox $20.000 a yr when i became a slicer so i couldn't take it anymore and now give her what i want.

Ohh i forgot to metion i put the house in my parents name just in case but she will get 40% as we agreed on if somthing did happen. Sadly my parents want me to take over the loan as they are paying capital gains tax now. Might have to pay that for them just to keep it in their name. Less r/c play money than.

Cheers.

Mark

[Guest Greg67]