Lost of interest in a life long passion

[Saito2]

Has anybody utterly lost interest in a life long passion? I have and I'm searching to see from where it stemmed. I loved cars from the time I was born. My first TV memory was Speed Racer. I even pushed my own stroller as a toddler because I wanted to "drive". I read about cars. I drew nothing but cars. The older I got, the more and more broad my interest grew. Muscle cars, antique cars, German cars, Italian cars Japanese cars, Jeeps, Pick-ups, monster trucks, rally cars...anything on wheels with a combustion engine. When I got to college, I couldn't get them out of my head. I left after the first year and attended a technical college and became a mechanic. I worked my way into the restoration field where I wanted to be. I've been doing that more or less since. Now that I'm almost 40, the flame inside me went out. I still have a passing interest and I can still tolerate my job but I don't work on my own things anymore (except to maintain or fix as necessary). I've begun to hate all the garbage posing and big-mouth bragging that goes with a lot of American car culture currently. I've stopped driving my personal classic cars because I'm tired of people coming up to me at gas stations like it's some kind of celebrity. It's just a car. 20 years ago those people would have sneered at me for being a "gear-head" with an old car, but now everybody thinks its cool. They're not all that special, just what a blue collar guy put together in his spare time. I'm totally burnt out and I feel I kind of threw away my life somewhat because I have no other skills other than fixing and fabbing things for obsolete old cars that cost 4-8 times what my house does. The bright side in all this is that around the time the interest began to start to fade, my daughter (now 4) was born. I have no distractions now from what is the most important thing in my life (my wife and child). Sorry to be such a downer, but I really am perplexed as to what happened and wonder if it will ever return.

 

[Frog Jumper]

"Has anybody utterly lost interest in a life long passion?"

Yep...  I don't care one bit anymore about my favorite band...  I used to travel all over the country to see them, but now I can't even be bothered to drive a couple of hours...  

That's why I came here...

Terry

 

[Hibernaculum]

I've thought about this a lot too.

I've been a lifelong Star Wars fan. When the "special editions" came out in the late 90s, I queued up for them. Then I queued for The Phantom Menace. Then I queued for Attack of the Clones. By Revenge of the Sith I was starting to lose interest. I was interested again in The Force Awakens. But now that it turned out to be little more than a remake of Star Wars and saw the horrible death of a much loved character, I've lost all interest. The forthcoming Rogue One looks dull and serious. Worlds away from the rollicking, saturday matinee adventure feel that made the original trilogy so legendary.

A theory about why we become jaded about our passions: Even though we love things (cars, movie, bands), often what we love about them are not just the things themselves. But rather, how those things affected us at a particular moment in history.

I loved how Star Wars felt in the 1970s/80s, when it was new and original and fun. Saito loved how classic cars were in their era, and when he first got into them. Frog Jumper liked a band, probably when they were younger, or had certain music (I'm assuming).

Yet society (trends, fashion, culture, fandom) is constantly evolving. And the things you used to love are always at risk of being somewhat hijacked by new culture: hipsters, remakes, reboots - you name it.

There is no guarantee that just because we loved how something began, we are always going to love what society does with it in the years ahead. Things can start to look different to us, because of the way other people react to them, and hype them. Today people fawn at you stupidly over your cars, Saito, because it's become "cool" to do that. Today, people perform lame dance routines on stage at comic conventions, dressed as Stormtroopers and Wookies, because Star Wars geek culture has gone completely silly and overbearing. And thanks to Disney's plan for an "infinite" number of future movies, the fact is that none of us are going to be alive to see the end of Star Wars. 

Where once I saw Star Wars as a pure piece of art - a well rounded, epic trilogy with a clear beginning, middle and end, now the floodgates have been opened for a neverending stream of "ok" Disney sequels, prequels, spinoffs and more footage. Like a shanty town of annexes to the original idea. None of which are needed.

How to deal with all this change and preserve your passion for the things you once loved? For me, I continue to see Star Wars as the same pure piece of art I always did, simply because I've decided it ended with The Return of the Jedi in 1983   Just like Terminator ended with Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Alien ended with Alien 3. And so on.

Despite probably sounding like a nostalgia diehard, I'm in no way a curmudgeon (yet ). I'm pretty open to new experiences (new films, music, political progress, technology, books, ideas). But I still refuse to let past passions get tainted by modern culture and over-saturation. Or otherwise you can end up with almost a sense of "loss" over why you no longer love something you once did.

Box your passion into the era that it came from, and preserve it for the rest of your life. Focus on what you originally liked. Try not to be jaded by how it evolves in modern society. That's my advice, for whatever it's worth.

[Nitomor]

Yep, here to, I went the same way with cars and star wars too funnily enough lol.

With cars I was like you Saito, used to sit for hours in my parents car when i was young, pretending to drive, my mum once said recently that I was almost autistic as a kid, nice of her lol! I got heavily into the Japanese tuning scene when the culture first began here in the UK as a result of being banned by the missus from motorbikes, another of my life passions and therefore trying to recreate the speed fix on four wheels. I lived and breathed high performance cars for a decade, even had a business representing a major Japanese brand and tuning cars and my day job was also in car sales for a few years.

Then kids came along and I had to sell the cars to prioritise fixing up the house we bought that was in need of a fair bit of work. I didn't feel ready at the time to sell up so revisited it a few years later but its not the same. I think maybe your exposure just reaches a saturation point and you just burn yourself out with it. After devoting so much time to it you perhaps start to wonder what you now get out of it and if the juice is worth the squeeze, my Dad once said to me that every 10 years or so your interests change, I guess it's just a case of us developing, in the case of cars, when you devote so much time to something, it's at the expense of balance and your life feels empty or neglected in other areas or it just feels like a lost cause after a while when you hit that saturarion point, which maybe leads to you resenting or feeling left with a touch of bitterness at all the things you didn't do because you were so absorbed in this one thing and spending all your money on it. 

Star Wars, I won't even get started on that, we were at such an impressionable age that it played a massive formative part in our education and upbringing, it was probably for most of us, our first initiation into a much 'deeper' world, exploring themes thst were well beyond our years in a totally engaging and absorbing manner, so much so that it profoundly affected an entire generation. Then you grow up, see those awful prequels and then become cynical in all the marketing and regurgitation that you feel slightly played. The thoughtful scripting of the originals remain, a time when all involved were hungry and that is oreserved in my mind with the original trilogy but thr subsequent exploitation and commercial crusade that followed left me hugely disenamoured with the franchise. I went through a phase of collecting all the figures/ships etc when they first got rereleased, including lots of rare ones in the end we dug it all out and gave it to the kids!

I got allowed back into bikes too, but that was no longer the same either, I guess that's what haolens when you grow up! When you look at all the responsibilitis you have as an adult it's hard to enjoy any of these hobbies in the same carefree nature we always did, as a result indulgence is always with a sense of guilt because it comes at the expense of family time or better served priorities. I just go with it now, RC for example I go in and out of and I always have. Much more into it now that in previous years because I've scaled back on 1:1 stuff and this is an easier hobby to justify and more family friendly. In fact I'm currently having a clear out of 1:1, my interests in 1:1 have evolved also that I feel done with the Jap tuning scene which is nice actually because I feel cured of it lol!!

Anyway, deep stuff and I've been typing this since about 3.45am and I really should be sleeping, good old insomnia

 

[Jason1145]

8 hours ago, Saito2 said:

 The bright side in all this is that around the time the interest began to start to fade, my daughter (now 4) was born. I have no distractions now from what is the most important thing in my life (my wife and child). Sorry to be such a downer, but I really am perplexed as to what happened and wonder if it will ever return.

 

Nothings wrong with you, nothing needs fixing and nothing is broken or lost, no one can love everything in the world with the same amount of time/money/effort. All you've done is change your priorities, now instead of being passionate about cars you are passionate about your daughter and wife, and rightly so... seems to me you've never been more fixed or correct in your life

[Saito2]

Thank you Jason. Other than my wife, you're the first person to say that. Those are some great points Hibernaculum and Nitomor and the connection to Star Wars fits well surprisingly. Though on a smaller scale, I've had much the same thoughts about Star Wars. I will sit and happily watch the originals but just can't generate any interest in seeing the new stuff (the possible "cash grab" prequels did not do me any favors). 

Interestingly, I did try what you suggested Hib. As current "Hot Rod" trends began to disinterest me more and more, I retreated back into what I originally liked. I put my cars together to suit me and mimic the builds I did in my early 20's. Unfortunately, "retro" became hot. The flame still went out, but perhaps it's for the best. My coworkers all think I'm crazy, but they're all 10 years younger. They spend a lot of time talking about cars (and arguing about them on the interweb) and living the "lifestyle" but really don't accomplish anything. They also don't have kids. Thanks to you guys, I realize I might not be crazy but just evolving. 

[Wooders28]

 Priorities change, I've not really touched my Transam since my daughter was born, and with another on the way, she'll be sat a while yet.

I think age has a part too, i didn't used to think anything of pulling an all nighter to swap engines, rebuilding axles, laying on a concrete floor in the middle of winter, but now, not a chance.

I dont know any car guy thats not had to shut the garage door and step away from the scene for a while, and I'm guessing alot of us have with the RC scene too! Life happens, so dont beat yourself up.

[Frog Jumper]

2 hours ago, Saito2 said:

just evolving. 

 

42 minutes ago, Wooders28 said:

 Priorities change...

I think age has a part too...

Yep, yep, and yep!

Kids, age, life...  Changes...

Terry

 

ETA: For anyone wondering what band I followed???  I was at this show about 20th row center...  Man, that was a loooong time ago...

 

[Dangerseeker]

41 minutes ago, Wooders28 said:

 Priorities change.

i think thats about it. other things become more important than star wars etc. when our first kid was born i read an article at the hospital about a man becoming a father who wanted to play ice hockey with his friends the day his kid was born. his wife asked him not to go, but he went. of course he  suffered quite some injury (bone fractures) and was kocked out for some time (and could not help his wife with the baby). ge wrote this made him think a lot an now he quit hockey because his priorities changed, he doesnt want to put himself in jeopardy anymore by playing a game. he did not miss the game at all and was more than happy with life.

i always remember that article when i feel i am missing something, or i cant enjoy things anymore that i used to enjoy earlier (eg movie btw. i fully agree the force awakens is clise to crap storywise). 

so kids, senescence , work, etc. do change your priorities; i think thats the way it should be. later on, maybe, one will find the time and peace again to enjoy things like before...

[Backlash]

15 hours ago, Saito2 said:

Has anybody utterly lost interest in a life long passion?

As many have said, Priorities change..

Maybe the question that you should be asking yourself is "Are you happy ?"

Happy in your life and the direction that it has taken you? Have you ever taken the time to sit back and look at your life (your wife, daughter, home, job, etc) and think to yourself that you are the luckiest man alive??

When I was young, I too was a "Petrol Head".. My first car was my pride and joy..  I would spend most of my Saturday working on and cleaning it, and then take her cruising into town on Saturday night.. A short time later I bought an old Landcruiser, and a few mates and I would then spend one of the days of our weekend out 4 wheeling around the bushland near our home.. For a long time I suppose that my cars were an obsession and in a way helped define who I was as a person..
Now 15 - 20 years later, I struggle to find urge to go out and wash and service my current vehicle..  What was once a passion (or possession) in my life is now just a car.. Priorities change.. I still have my first car, and I hope that one day it will help me find that passion once again..

[GooneyBird]

For me it's computers. I loved tinkering around with them, hot-rodding them, and even had a few homebuilt behemoths as a teen. (Overclocked and watercooled quad-core rigs with radiators out of Nissan Micras and such) But the more I am exposed to them at work (I currently work as a sys-admin), the more I start disliking them. I sold off all my homebuilt stuff, and bought a laptop for school, and haven't looked back since.

Nowadays, computers exist as a part of my job. I'm still good with them, keeping them running and performing the tricks they need to do, but they no longer bring me pleasure at home. At home, I try to avoid contact with them as much as I can, using my laptop (or iPad alternatively) as a portal to Tamiyaclub, and other RC-sites. I no longer program, I no longer game, and fix them up only if needed.

When I get home from work I try to find inner peace through other means. RC is a great outlet, as it's very physical. Turning screws, painting bodies, sticking yourself to tires (and usually shortly thereafter; your desk) is next to meditation for me now. Where I used to be able to spend hours in BIOS or EFI, trying to get my latest Frankenstein creation up and running (or running quicker, usually), I can now spend an entire evening routing the cables through a touring car chassis just the way I like it.

[speedy_w_beans]

Saito2, the one thing I read in your original post is you've learned, worked, and achieved at a personal level and now the passion is gone.  Have you considered mentoring or coaching a willing student?

I wanted to be an engineer since the age of 9, and I tinkered with electronics, built hardware of my own design, taught myself programming languages, and wrote software throughout my teen years while doing well in math and science at school.  Going to university was a formality where I learned a little more math, the systems concepts, and the analytical approaches to be who I am today.  I've cycled through a half dozen employers, climbed the technical ladder, and have just about peaked in terms of capability and interest.  I, too, was feeling burned out and nowhere else to turn for different employment.

Hobbies have been a band-aid to distract me from the real world, and my family is motivation to stay employed and productive, but the one real joy I've been able to experience at work is seeing younger engineers' progress in their own careers.  I've been mentoring a junior engineer for the past ten years, teaching him how to use various tools, work systematically, verify and validate thought processes, and master increasingly abstract representations of a design.  He's reached a point where I'm very comfortable giving him directions and I know he'll execute almost flawless judgment each time.  I can see a time in the next five years where he'll probably be even better than me.

Instead of accumulating experience and credentials for myself, the main change has been to focus on developing others.  Teaching others, equipping them, helping them be the best they can be has been much more rewarding than designing yet another circuit or writing yet another line of code.  I can imagine there are plenty of skills in car restoration that come with coaching and experience, and I'll bet there are several younger people who would love to learn the craft.  The trick is to select a younger person who has the right attitude and potential, and then be amazed as they take what you teach and build on it.  If you do it right, they will grow, and you will be challenged to grow as well to stay ahead of them or at least keep up with them! 

[markbt73]

From 1988 until 1996, I ate, slept, and breathed electric guitar. I read all the magazines, and learned the tabs to all the songs in them, and every spare dime I made went to a new guitar, or a bigger and better amp, or some effects pedal. Then one day, I just didn't feel like playing any more. I sold it all (at a terrible loss), and didn't touch a guitar for 8 years.

Then, in 2004, my mom died, and left me her old Epiphone acoustic, and I started playing that. Just here and there. And I still do play just here and there, though I'm now up to five guitars again. I could never see being as gear-heavy as I once was, but I do still like to play. It's almost like I overdid it, burned myself out, and needed a reminder of why I started playing in the first place. (I only wish the reminder hadn't been so harsh.)

It sounds like you might have just oversaturated yourself. Don't panic, it's not gone, you just need a break. You can get tired of anything.

And for what it's worth, I think the "hot rod" scene has been in free-fall since all the reality shows started. "Let's take a piece of junk and throw money at it until it's loud and shiny and tacky!" Chip Foose, what have you done?!?

[Saito2]

Oddly enough Speedy, I also wanted to be an engineer (automotive, of course) since elementary school. Back in those days, kids thought I meant I planned on driving a train . Math didn't "come easy" to me like history, literature and writing did, but I worked hard and doubled up on my math courses trying to squeeze calculus in before my senior year. Then I got "misplaced" in an advanced trig class and just hit a wall. The teacher more or less told me to give up on my dreams of being an engineer. Being still an impressionable kid, I did. Your idea of mentoring is gold. It's really great to see younger folks progress and bring a new kind of joy to the table. Sadly, a lot of the "millennials" (for lack of a better term) are in such a rush to "climb the ladder" and sport a know-it-all attitude, they have little time for an "old-timer" (at 40, lol) like me. They rarely stay long. I think, in time, the right one will come along though. My daughter already show great interest in whats under the hood of daddy's cars.

Guitar is a hobby I was heavily involved in too Mark. I still build one occasionally but finding time to play is tough. Family comes first. You reminded me another question I've had. Do I take a break as you suggest and wait for it to return or do I begin to liquidate a portion (not all) of all the car stuff I've hoarded over the last 25 years? On one hand, its burden to have all that stuff, on the other, I'm a miser and hate buying things twice. Thanks again for all of your thoughtful replies.

[matman]

I loved car's , when i was young . I used to Eat , sleep, 'beep' cars , could never get enough of them ,

some one would want some thing done & i was in . No if's or but's .

But the last 10/15 years have been slow , just don't have that get up a go . Like i used to have  .

I got rid of alot of stuff & i wished i didn't . I did need some of what i sold , threw out &

the price to buy the same stuff is over the top . Most is so hard to find it's not funny .

So i would hold on to your parts , or if you have more than one or two , sell them on ? . But just

remember , they are getting harder to find & cost more than ever to replace .

I have car's that need finnshing , for the last 15 years , I have started others in the last 4/5 years .

But you guested it , NOT finished them  .  The funny thing is , i had a big work shop etc .

With every thing i needed of sort . Now i have moved & don't have that , I want to get into my cars ?   . 

But i don't have a shed to do it in , Yet i had the room & the workshop to do it & just did bits here & there .

I'm sure you will get back into it , as i'm sure i would , May not be as we used to ?.  

I have been a little slow on the RC's in the last year as well  , This has been up & down .

Just take it as it come's M8 , slow down & spend the time with famliy & friends or some thing else you may have

wanted to do . Have you talked to the wife , about this ? or any one else ? . 

I'm sure we all go through this at some point in life , we get burnt out & go over board on things we love .

To the point , we don't have the get up & go any more . Or you can sell your shed & i bet you will

love cars again , as you have know where to do it  like i'm in at the moment  . But

i still won't have that woohoo factor i think .  You are normal Satio2 like the rest of us  . 

Oh , sorry i'm not that great at saying things , Or explaining things . Was not great at school ,

School was where i ate lunch & that was about it , back in them days haha .  

[Nitomor]

I wanted to be an engineer too, but I didn't realise that until too late, perhaps I should have realised earlier when as a child people would ask "what do you want to be when you're older" to which I would reply "an inventor"!

There's a theme here, lol. Perhaps all us Tamiya fans are all just frustrated engineers!

[Dangerseeker]

On 10/20/2016 at 3:23 PM, Nitomor said:

There's a theme here, lol. Perhaps all us Tamiya fans are all just frustrated engineers!

yes, that would be an interesting pattern, you should start a poll 

[Wooders28]

I qualified in mechatronics (mechanical/electronics) and now work in maintenance, does that count? 🙄

[markbt73]

I don't know about engineering specifically, but this hobby does seem to draw people who like to "think with their hands." I come from a long line of engineers and inventors and makers-of-infrastructure. I was taught from a very young age to appreciate and respect good design and clever engineering. Had I been less flighty and rebellious when I was younger, I would have overcome my math phobia and gone into mechanical engineering myself. But at 43, I have to be satistied with being a self-taught dilettante and armchair engineer. (I have often wished that "tinkerer and putterer" was an official job title; I'd be amazing at it.)

I've been in the sign and graphics industry for going on 20 years now, working with all sorts of 2 and 3 axis machines (but have never gotten to play with full 3D stuff), and it's amazing how much of the mechanical knowledge and skills cross over from work to hobbies. Working on plotters/engravers/routers is really just playing with big servo-driven mechanisms, the working theory of which I already knew from RC servos. I think that RC hobbyists are also uniquely positioned to help with the transition to electric cars, because, well, we've been building them for years.

Not sure where this ramble is going, other than that we all seem to be fascinated by intricate moving things, and I don't see that ever changing, at least for me. I have drifted away from RC a little bit recently, but I'm just about to start tearing down my MGB's engine, and there's still that half-finished Stratocaster to think about, and a gigantic (2x3 meter) new plotter/cutter at work to learn. The applications change, but the core of take-things-apart-and-put-them-together-better-than-they-were remains.

[Mad Ax]

On 17/10/2016 at 11:59 PM, Saito2 said:

The bright side in all this is that around the time the interest began to start to fade, my daughter (now 4) was born.

 

Sorry I'm a bit late to the table, but it's really interesting you bring this up as my first is due in just under 4 months time and I feel a change happening in me, too.

I was also a car nut when I was younger, wanted to be a race team mechanic but was put off by a car-phobic mother and ended up directing my interests elsewhere.  Even now I fantasize about owning a Japanese tuner/drift garage, running a drift team and having a bunch of mates to turn up every Friday in their tuned monsters for a get-together.  Sort of like the best bits of the Fast & Furious films.  But, alas, I fear this is mostly just fantasy and the real world of owning a tuner garage is dealing with an endless stream of penniless teenagers who want me to turn their rusty hatch into a street-legal race car for the cost of a McDonald's Happy Meal.

 

But I digress.  For the last 10 or so years my life has been about playing with and building RC cars, writing music, writing novels, and when I'm really relaxing, playing video games.  However, since the reality of the coming baby has sunk in, I haven't touched a video game.  Not even 20 minutes on Skyrim.  Every time I think of it, I realise what a grotesque waste of time and talent it's been.  Nobody gets to the top of their field by relying on natural ability alone, and what I really want to do with my life, more than anything else, is write fiction.  And I'll never be a best-selling author (or any kind of author) if I don't get on and write.

So for the last few months, that's pretty much all I've done.  There hasn't been much time for RC (a bit of tinkering here and there) and music has been restricted to trying to finish my latest album so I can draw a line under it.  After that, I don't know where music will take me.  It's so time-consuming to write a piece of music that I doubt I'll get much done for a few years.

I get up at 6am so I can do an hour of writing before work.  I drive my camper van to work every day (at 15mpg vs 40mpg on the motorbike or 50mpg in the car) just so I can sit at the table for an hour to do more writing at lunch.  My wife goes to bed early so I stay up for another hour writing before I go to bed.  I still have a love for RC but I feel it might start to die off when I have even less time next year.

So what really brings me to this thread is the bit I've quoted above, I guess because I have a few fears about having a child: fear #1, the obvious one, that I won't have time for writing any more.  And that I might even resent my family for taking me away from what I've made such an important part of my life for so long, and that I might not bond with my own child, and become one of those miserable, resentful people who give off a huge air of regret that they let their life go where it went instead of putting the brakes on, saying no, and going it alone to follow their own passions.  Maybe it's just big-man talk but I'm sure I've met a fair few of those people over the years and I've always been afraid I'll be one.

But fear #2, and this is perhaps the more irrational of the two fears, is that I'll actually love my new family so much that I give up everything else.  Music, writing, RCs, even my motorbike and my camper.  And for 25 years I'll put everything into my family and love every minute of it, and only realise a quarter of a century later that I forgot who I was.  That seems like such a crazy irrational fear because that would be the most amazing thing that could happen to me, but still I'm still afraid of what it means.  Maybe I'm just afraid of what other people will say.  "You used to be cool, man" and "You were so ambitious, where did it go?"

I don't have any advice to offer about losing your interest or keeping vs selling your stuff, but I can say, if you're loving the extra time you get to spend with your family, that's a real gift - if I knew I was going to feel that way, I wouldn't be so afraid of what the future holds right now

 

 

[speedy_w_beans]

Never be afraid to love your family and lose yourself in them.  I did, and have no regrets.  I see the fruit of husbanding every day.

 

[Nobbi1977]

I think that not only do people change but hobbies do as well. Some things that start out as niche become mainstream and lose appeal or the other way around.

I rotate my motorcycles regularly swinging from loony speed road bikes to track bikes to classics that struggle to do 50mph. I have no interest in following racing anymore and I used to watch every race.

Family can change you but the first time their eye light up at something you love, or used to, is a fantastic moment. Something to bond over that you can do together, family is not always doing what they want but sometimes sharing your passions with them.

[Saito2]

Well, Mad Ax, the simple fact that you have fears is a good sign you'll be a good parent. It seems one can fall into several scenarios when having kids for the first time. Like you said, you resent the family for lost free time or you don't put enough time and effort into family life. Not good. The alternative is to throw yourself into family life but leave a little balance. It will be hard, but try to make a little time for yourself, when you can (not easy). I'm not going to lie, done properly raising a child takes 99% of your time (110% if you're single parent). Family life will change you and your priorities and it should. And besides, like Nobbi suggested, one day your offspring may take an interest in your passions. Remember family is dynamic, always changing. Your hobbies will always be there waiting for you. For me, I just couldn't see just messing about with my hobbies and interest for the rest of my life as being totally fulfilling. I'm not going to paint unrealistic rainbows for you, child-rearing (properly) can be the biggest challenge you'll ever face but (as is often the case) the most rewarding as well. In the end, it's magic. 

BTW, my daughter does show interest in RC and loves to watch them buzz about. She even likes to get her hands on daddy's tools and "help" (hinder, lol) work on them.

 

[Frog Jumper]

11 hours ago, speedy_w_beans said:

Never be afraid to love your family and lose yourself in them.  I did, and have no regrets.  I see the fruit of husbanding every day.

 

I'm glad you didn't say "husbandry"...  Your wife might take issue!

I have to agree with all of the parenting sentiment here.  Raising my kids is my new "life long passion".  Everything else is secondary now, including what I want.  

But the rewards are great.  My 4yo daughter loves to watch me tinker with our cars.  She wants a pink one but I think I will wait another year...  My 7yo son on the other hand only cares about Pokemon...

Terry

[Nobbi1977]

2 hours ago, Frog Jumper said:

My 4yo daughter loves to watch me tinker with our cars.  She wants a pink one but I think I will wait another year...  My 7yo son on the other hand only cares about Pokemon...

Terry

I have a boy and a girl and I try and treat them the same. The world is set out in to boys toys and girls toys and boys games etc and it drives me mad. I can see Rosa inherenting my bikes far more than I can see Noah doing.

I try and combine interests, go Pokemon hunting but take an RC car with you. The activity is not important but the time together is, I am selfish with my time and have to work hard to give up what little I have after work so combining activities really helps