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Saito2

Trouble sleeping, suggestions?

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For the past year, I've had trouble sleeping at night due entirely to work-related stress. I'm physically tired as I work 10 hour days, but I cannot shut my mind down. I just keep going over possible mistakes made during the day, trying to keep things organized, and keeping track of where dozens of car parts are laid out or stashed away. The atmosphere is, um, very unforgiving. Try as I might, if I can't remember where something got put or if everything was assembled properly, my mind obsesses over the issue till 4:30 am wake-up time. 

Does anybody have any tricks to get to sleep and stay asleep?  Right now, I drink chamomile tea and take a melatonin gummie before bed. They do help, but I find I need a cup of black tea in the morning to wake me up now (which I never needed before). One would figure 10 hours of physical labor and near-constant anxiety would wear a person out, but no luck. Any thoughts welcomed but I would like to avoid drug-type sleep aids. 

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Sound like me, over summer we have up to 200 reservations. Isnt easy to work 10-12hours when needes until 23pm sometimes 1am and then in the morning from 7am to 3pm pain in the neck to organize this with human failure and long waiting time with tired travelers. 

You basically need to relief stress and think positive, leave work at work dont take it home. That works the best for me. 

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I feel you on this one. I’ve had similar issues with long days and work stress. I’m sure you already know the source of your insomnia is work based, so you should really tackle this at the root. Anything else is temporary, and just tackling the symptoms is not a long term solution.

That said, there are a few things which may help.

Avoid caffeine based drinks / products after midday

Have at least an hour of no-screen time before you go to bed, no TV in the bed room, no phones, no I pads (I’m on mine now in bed...)

Declutter the bed room, so the only associations with this room is sleep.

heavy meals in the evenings should be avoided, cut out as much sugar as you can in your diet.

Excercise really helps, weight training helped me.

I’ll add some more suggestions later (IPad needs charger)

 

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Part 2..

Back to diet, I find MSG in food, especially Chinese food literally makes my head buzz. Pretty much any fast food and flavour enhancers can have this effect, so cook fresh, drink plenty of water.

We have a toddler. It’s funny how you learn about introducing good night time routines for babies but don’t stick to them yourself.

Meditation:- you don’t have to go all spiritual and vacant empty mind to meditate, it can be simply turning your mind to something else. When I struggle to drop work stress I often try to replay old films I’ve seen in my mind, in real time you have to focus really hard not to let your thoughts jump about and keep them chronologically sequenced. Like trying to imagine yourself walking the 10 minutes to a local shop, your brain will want to reach the conclusion and not experience every step.

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Thanks for the quick replies. I forgot to add, I'm a vegetarian (although I do eat fish) with a fairly strict diet. Other than my one cup of black tea in the morning and cup of green tea at mid day, I don't consume caffeine. I haven't eaten fast food in over a decade. Being diabetic (actually pre-diabetic now) I avoid sugars and simple carbohydrates. I try to eat organic and non-processed foods whenever possible. But you're right, diet can play havoc on sleep. 

Work and the feelings of worthlessness it brings me are indeed the issue and sleeplessness to symptom. I will give your suggestions a shot. Thanks! 

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Not sure on what country you’re in and the legality of it there, but CBD oil is great for anxiety and insomnia. Most people will turn their nose at it because of the stigma attached but it’s a safe and natural remedy. 

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I read something boring on my tablet and when the tablet start to fall from my hands it's time to dodo. Another thing you can do to help falling asleep is to run a small fan in the background. The noise from the fan will help you also.

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Here's a technique I've tried when I can't clear my mind at night. When you've put your head down and got yourself comfy in your usual sleeping position, close your eyes, breathe in, count "one" (in your head), breathe out, count "two" (in your head), breathe in, "one", breathe out, "two", repeat until, miraculously, you find yourself waking up in the morning. :D Admittedly it won't sort out your workplace issues but a rested mind handles the day better than a sleep deprived one. Who knows, it might be enough?

Other factors that might help you out:

Keep a tidy environment around you. A tidy environment generally helps with both relaxation (as you don't have to be mentally dealing with a mess) and with creativity (as you're now mentally free to "create" a mess). If your personal world is cluttered, even just a tiny bit, with general untidiness then your mind is always "dealing with that" if you know what I mean? Take a day to reorganise your stuff, even if it's just to sort your RCs into projects/spares/chassis type, as it'll put your mind at ease on at least one thing. Once you've got that done, you can relax into the knowledge that, even if you can't remember where you'd put a part, you can be fairly certain you'll "find it with the rest" because that's how you've sorted your stuff.

If you're listening to music before you go to bed, make sure you reach the end the song you're listening to. It's an odd one but hear me out. When a song is cut off before it ends you're mind tries to fill in the missing piece and, because we often associate memories with songs, our minds sometimes go into hyperdrive with recollections that often have nothing to do with the song that was cut off. Very quickly the song is forgotten but the mind is now searching for other things to remember. Like I said, odd.

Try not to look at your phone/tablet/computer in the dark when you're trying to get ready to sleep. If possible, don't look at it for at least 30 minutes before heading to bed. Apparently the light from the screen makes your eyes work to make your brain more active. If there's other lighting in the room, especially if the lighting is good enough to make most of the room visible without straining your eyes, it helps to nullify the effect the light of your phone/tablet/computer has on your eyes.

 

4 hours ago, Saito2 said:

I forgot to add, I'm a vegetarian (although I do eat fish) with a fairly strict diet...

Being diabetic (actually pre-diabetic now)...

Can I ask about your diabetes? (Type 2, I presume?)

Did you go meat free after your diagnosis (or just before on doctors orders) or were you vegetarian for years before diabetes was a possible concern? I ask as I was diagnosed as Type 2 almost two years ago and recently I've severely dropped my meat and poultry levels in favour of an increased seafood intake. I'd just like to get an idea of what it took to be reclassified as pre-diabetic as my doctors make me feel like there's no hope left, like I'd flown past that 'point of no return', so I'm basically doomed.

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Wow, reading this thread, I'm doing just about everything wrong to get to sleep at night.

 

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I play the Family Guy Star Wars video every night, knocks me right out

My job's very dependent on timed deliveries, relying on machine shops etc so I'm always trying to square stuff off - Unless I can get to sleep, I usually end up thinking about all the what-ifs for the forthcoming few days, even though there's very little I can do about any of it at 1am :lol:
Years ago I realised I needed a 'distraction' so eneded up watching films etc on a laptop running off  battery - that way it shuts down after about 20 mins.

With Family Guy (Blue Harvest) playing, I rarely get past the first ten minutes before I'm out, and that's me for the night then.
Even if I go away I take a MP4 playing 'walkman' with me, and just watch FG with the screen resting on my forearm

It's on every portable device I own, so not getting to sleep is fairly rare now

 

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I sleep with a CPAP machine for my sleep apnea.  Like Vagabond said, I focus on my breathing when I put the nose mask on. I don’t count but I try to breath in deeply and deliberately. Next thing I know, I’m waking up in the morning to my alarm clock. 

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It sounds like the issue is work-related stress and it seems to me like that (or something else) is leading to depression - I'm no professional and as always you should seek professional advice.  There are lots of different avenues you can take to deal with stress and depression and I won't deal with those here.

Picking up on the things that worry you - where did everything get put?  Did it get assembled properly?  Assuming you're the one doing the storing / assembling, you're in control of that.  Let me tell you how I do it:

I have similar in my work, there's a lot of independent tasks that must take place, sometimes but not always in order, things I must remember to do, things I must do before I do something else, and if I don't, something might go wrong - not necessarily today but maybe next week or next month.  People still say to me "I couldn't do your job, my memory is terrible for things like that."

Well, let me tell you, my memory is atrocious.  Early in my career I'd forget to do things.  I lost track of the amount of times I had to face the managing director because I'd forgotten to do part of a process.  I had terrible stress worrying what I might have forgotten.  But my managing director had been there too, and he gave me some advice: make lists.  Make checklists.  Make instructions.  Make kneeboards.  Make whatever you need.  My old boss used to leave tissues all over the floor.  "That one's to remind me to take my laptop, that one's to remind me to take the invoice for client1, that's to remind me to take the stock for client2".

So I started writing instruction lists and checklists, and doing everything in order, and crossing it off when it was done.  It doesn't mean I never make mistakes, but it means my mistakes are a lot fewer, and when I do make them, my bosses can see that I'm exercising due diligence and taking precautions.

It's even easier now with smartphones.  I use Google Keep.  It's got a checklist feature which syncs to my google account, so it's available on my phone or my screen.  I can see what I've done and what I haven't.  If I think of something I need to do, I pop it on the list there and then.  If I wait I'll forget.

Is there a way you can keep checklists for things that need doing?  If you do a task regularly, is there a generic instruction list you can make that you can tick through every time?  There's a reason jumbo pilots - who are responsible for five hundred lives and a hundred million dollars of aircraft - use printed checklists for take-off and landing procedures.  Everybody makes mistakes, everybody can get distracted, everybody can forget something.

 

In terms of actual sleep - as others have said, avoid TV / tablets / bright lights before bed.  Blue light specifically (tablets and LCD screens are bad for that) upsets the natural rhythm.  Some modern laptops have a 'night mode' that switches to a softer red light after dark.  (At my last job, the company laptops were forced to display a bright white-blue desktop background that couldn't be changed.  I used to do out-of-hours support.  There are few things more nausea-inducing than staggering into the home office in the cold darkness of 3am, opening up the screen and being blinded by that blue-white display at full daytime brightness).

I find reading helps.  I use a Kindle Paperwhite which has a soft light.  These days I manage a few pages before I go to sleep.  I only read fiction at night.  I read textbooks, autobiographies, travel books, and all sorts during the day, but at night it's fiction only.  Non-fiction makes me think too much.

If that fails then slow breathing can bring down your anxiety.  It takes practice but it helps me if I'm very anxious.  Before my daughter was born we did a course in hypno-birthing and learned a self-hypnosis technique, which is basically clearing your mind and breathing slowly to send yourself into a trance.  If I'm in an anxious situation, I can use self-hypnosis to calm myself down.

If your mind is really on fire then there's a distraction technique: pick a random word (I use 'the'), and repeat it to yourself in your head at random intervals.  Totally random intervals, not just one after the other like a ticking clock.  The concentration required to do that helps to clear your mind.  It's another self-hypnosis technique, it won't put you into trance but it will help to clear out the junk that's going around.

If nothing else is working then how about thinking on a way you can resolve the thing that's making you anxious?  I know it's not always as easy as that but if you're worrying that you haven't assembled something properly, think about how you can resolve that so you know you've always assembled it properly.  Like with checklists, or something else.

 

I hope that's of some use to you.  I've suffered insomnia, anxiety and depression for most of my adult life, it's something that I think will always be with me but it's something I managed to a greater or lesser degree all the time.  There are good times and bad times; the techniques I've learned make the good times better and the bad times less bad.

If you want to talk more privately about it then feel free to send me a PM, if I can help you in any way then I will.

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7 hours ago, VagabondStarJXF said:

Can I ask about your diabetes? (Type 2, I presume?)

Did you go meat free after your diagnosis (or just before on doctors orders) or were you vegetarian for years before diabetes was a possible concern? I ask as I was diagnosed as Type 2 almost two years ago and recently I've severely dropped my meat and poultry levels in favour of an increased seafood intake. I'd just like to get an idea of what it took to be reclassified as pre-diabetic as my doctors make me feel like there's no hope left, like I'd flown past that 'point of no return', so I'm basically doomed.

This may not be of any help, but I know of someone who was drinking a pint of tomato juice each day as he had been told it would ward off cancer, and something in the tomato juice brought him to the point of being diagnosed with diabetes. After he was advised by a friend to lay off the tomato juice he made full recovery back to normal health. The friend who advised him knew about this as one of their relatives had been diagnosed as being diabetic as was only allowed to eat 1 tomato a day.

@Saito2 What Mad Ax said is good advice. I have the memory capacity of a senile goldfish and make lists all the time of stuff at work that needs doing to keep organised. I went through a phase of not being able to sleep, feeling tired but the brain kept running over things and wouldn't shut down. I tried to adopt a philosophy of trying not to stress over the things I had no control over (I had a cancer removed from my chest in 2012), and to make lists of the things that were bothering me and try to work through the list to resolve them.

Perhaps removing some of the work related stress will help. I assume that the car parts you refer are to do with work and not your hobby ? Having been in aircraft maintenance hangars before, when aircraft are dismantled, they have racks relating to each aircraft, and only the parts from the specific aircraft go onto that rack, and each part is labelled if U/S. They also have a system of peer review where work is checked and signed off as the aircraft is re-assembled. This ensures that everything goes back where it should do, and that the maintenance engineers don't have to remember everything. Perhaps it might be worth looking at whether your workplace would consider adopting different work methods so that you don't have to remember where parts are stashed, or what stage of re-assembly a vehicle is at. Getting a colleague to verify what stage you're at with work might help, as you won't have to try and remember if you've completed something, as it will stick in your mind that Mr X checked it...

In my own hobby area, I now have my toolkit in foam lined drawers with cut outs, so that I know exactly where to find all my frequently used tools, and I can also identify whether there are any tools missing or not. (Nothing worse that re-assembling a car and then thinking *!"£, where's that 10mm socket, is it back in the tool pile or did I leave it inside the air cleaner ?????)

Anyhow, good luck, hope you can find something that works for you.

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2 hours ago, Shodog said:

Like Vagabond said, I focus on my breathing when I put the nose mask on. I don’t count but I try to breath in deeply and deliberately. Next thing I know, I’m waking up in the morning to my alarm clock. 

Yep. It's all about the deliberate & deep breathing.

TBH I got this trick from an episode of The Mentalist and I was really surprised this worked when I tried it for myself. Most of the time I don't need the counting thing but I found that the counting helped to distract my mind away from the multitude of random left-over thoughts of the day when my mind won't shut down. As it's just "one" and "two" in repetition it doesn't require brain power to remember what number comes next when you've been counting for hours (e.g. when you're counting 'sheep'). You could try it both with and without the counting according to how active your mind is.

7 hours ago, Pablo68 said:

Wow, reading this thread, I'm doing just about everything wrong to get to sleep at night.
 

:D 

The whole smart phone thing is the thing that gets me most often. The funny thing is that I used to play video games to relax me enough to sleep. Then phones got 'smart' and that went out of the window!

1 hour ago, Mad Ax said:

… my managing director had been there too, and he gave me some advice: make lists.  Make checklists.  Make instructions.  Make kneeboards.  Make whatever you need. 

This! Lists are really helpful. I've got loads of lists too. I don't really have memory issues (yet) but there's always so much going on and time goes by so fast. Then thoughts get all mixed up, partially forgotten, etc., etc., etc.

Whatever you need... just write it down, on paper or on your computer, list it, catalogue it, maybe even keep a 'diary' (even if it's just your RC related ideas). It helps to clear some space, mentally speaking, every once in a while and it also allows you to look back on it whenever you need to.

11 minutes ago, MadInventor said:

This may not be of any help, but I know of someone who was drinking a pint of tomato juice each day as he had been told it would ward off cancer, and something in the tomato juice brought him to the point of being diagnosed with diabetes. After he was advised by a friend to lay off the tomato juice he made full recovery back to normal health. The friend who advised him knew about this as one of their relatives had been diagnosed as being diabetic as was only allowed to eat 1 tomato a day.

 

Tomatoes? Wow. I never would've thought that these things would be an issue in diabetes. I rarely eat tomatoes (or drink tomato juice) but I do like my tomato based pasta sauces (Linguini Garlic Prawn Pomodoro FTW!!!) so I'll have to look into that. Thanks.

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Can you get anyone to help with the work? Are you taking too much on?

Sounds like you need a holiday.

I find that temperature can affect my sleep. if I wake and I'm too hot i have to move rooms to a cool bed. Only works if that bed is available though!  

If I can feel the tension in my body or have restless legs then yoga / pilates style stretches have always helped to relax my body. Coupled with slowed breathing it helps relax the mind too. Then sleep isn't too far behind.

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13 hours ago, VagabondStarJXF said:

I'd just like to get an idea of what it took to be reclassified as pre-diabetic as my doctors make me feel like there's no hope left, like I'd flown past that 'point of no return', so I'm basically doomed.

I've been fit and trim my whole life. What I didn't know, until a few years ago, was that I also had high-functioning autism. Autism is linked to diabetes which explains why I got it without it being in my family history. My doctor wasn't much better. He said I had diabetes, handed me a one sided printed page on the subject and left without saying anything else. I have a new doctor now. While I don't know your specifics, I would hate to leave you feeling like there's no hope. That's counterproductive. 

I spend about a year fooling around with a blood sugar meter, checking and recording my sugar levels 2 hours after the various foods I ate. Eventually, you get a feel for it, knowing what you can and can't tolerate and how much you can get away with. I drink some unsweetened tea (green, black and chamomile) and water. Nothing else. High caffeine is not good for diabetics. Everything white has been replaced with whole grain equivalents. Bread, pasta and rice being the main culprits. Potatoes are a no-no, but sweet potatoes in moderation are okay. You have to be careful with fruits. I tolerate kiwis well and half an apple or banana on occasion. Veggies are great. High fat foods are not. I cut out all the sweets, ice cream, cake, candy etc. But, once a month I'll have a bowl of ice cream (I tolerate it better than baked goods). Just once a month keeps the cravings away. I have a small unsweetened pineapple fruit cup with lunch. When you cut out sugars, it taste like candy because your mouth isn't used to sweets anymore. I don't know if this is part of my secret or not, but I eat a bowl of Cheerios with cinnamon  for breakfast every morning. Whole grain oats seem to be one of the safest carbs for diabetics.

I will admit, I keep my sugar levels close to the low edge. I snack lightly throughout the day. Big meals don't work out so well. If I miss a snack or heavily physically exert myself more so than usual, my levels will crash (which means tremors, shakes, weakness, clamminess). Aside from all that, sticking to the diet has reduced my A1Cs and now diabetes is in my past medical history rather than my current one.

I went vegetarian after I had my diabetes behind me. It was a personal choice based on both health and ethics. I would never impose my viewpoints on anyone for eating meat. The key is to keep up your protein intake which I still do with fish and nuts mostly.

In conclusion, be vigilant! Its easy to slip as the effects of diabetes are not immediate. Diabetics that still eat fast food daily and just take drugs or insulin so they can eat that cake don't realize the mess they're creating for themselves down the line. Seeing as high sugar levels turns your blood into something akin to the thickness of molasses can lead to all sorts of terrible things like heart attacks, blindness, etc. Keep trying and don't give up up hope!  

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Thank you all for the great suggestions. I will certainly try writing things down. The shop I work in is horribly crammed with stuff which is constantly being shifted about. I also have a hard time remembering exactly where I left off on a car when I haven't touched it in 2 months. This gets me in trouble despite the fact I've working on dozens of cars in between. Keeping a log will certainly aid with that. The workplace tends to be loud and toxic at times much like the old reality show American Hot Rod. Not much I can do about that but organization will certainly help.

7 hours ago, Mad Ax said:

hope that's of some use to you.  I've suffered insomnia, anxiety and depression for most of my adult life, it's something that I think will always be with me but it's something I managed to a greater or lesser degree all the time.  There are good times and bad times; the techniques I've learned make the good times better and the bad times less bad.

It is useful. Thank you. I've battled anxiety and depression constantly as well, but not insomnia. Being a father now and husband who pays the bills probably added that. Nobody at my job is in that position. They're all a good bit younger than me.

1 hour ago, Badcrumble said:

Sounds like you need a holiday.

Ha! Yes, I do. I haven't had a vacation in many years. I get 2 weeks off a year and lose most of it because I don't take it. Having an autistic daughter limits what we can do. I also get the distinct feeling that even if the time-off is provided, one is looked down upon for taking it (accusations of laziness, etc.). So, I keep my head down and push forward. Americans are frequently stupid about work.

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Have you thought about switching to Segmented Sleep???  I do that.

I fall asleep with my kids about 830, wake up about 1130, and then fall back asleep about 130.  During my wakefulness I walk around outside, or drive around playing Pokemon Go, or work on music or RC stuff, or play on the interwebz.  If I'm in the mood, I might also drink a couple of beers.  I feel just fine in the AM, and I get a normal 9 hours of sleep.  Its just broken up into 2 segments...

https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/what-is-segmented-sleep#1

I mean it sounds to me like your body is wanting to do that anyways???

I hope you can figure it out and a good night's sleep!

Terry

  

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I have to say, I'm learning a lot of useful stuff from this thread...

[1] A noisemaker helps a bit.  (I got tired of replacing AA batteries, so I soldered a case for a 18560 battery)  My wife falls asleep faster with this thing making sounds of waves.  I like the sounds of raindrops--rainy days make me want to stay in bed and sleep.  My dog likes birds and bugs chirping.  

[2] I forgot about this, but this thread reminded me how this helped; counting backward from 100 to 1, while imagining walking down a long staircase.  I don't remember ever reaching 1.  Time it with slow breaths.  

[3] My doctor once told me to eat light and early, so I wouldn't be full of energy at night.  

[4] I read junk novels on Kindle, but for me, it's not helping.  I'd want to know what happens to a speaking dolphin with a nuclear bomb strapped to his back, heading to an alien city.  So I keep on reading.  (hmm... it sounds silly even to me... I should grow up and read some grown-up stuff, but grown-up stuff is so boring..)

e7BGKEe.jpg

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11 minutes ago, Juggular said:

I should grow up and read some grown-up stuff, but grown-up stuff is so boring..)

Nah, why grow up? Read what you like. I still read old X-Men and Daredevil comics before bed, lol.

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I haven't read every word in this thread but the first thing you need to do is discuss your sleep condition with your doctor. At the very least they should request a full set of blood tests (you should be getting these regularly for diabetes anyway but they need to look deeper than that) - until you have these you can't tell if there's something physiological. Anxiety seems a major contributor for you and anti-anxiety medicine may address the root cause and if so you may not require any sleeping aids.

I've had a sleep disorder for about two years now (and I happen to be diabetic but they're unrelated). I could fall asleep okay but not stay asleep and when I woke after about 4 hours I couldn't go back to sleep... it didn't take long for me to turn into a wreck. I used to sleep comfortably, deeply and continuously but something changed and to this day I don't know what it is/was.

We (my doctor and I) tried melatonin, didn't make any difference. To provide immediate relief he prescribed sleeping pills and indeed, that addressed the symptoms overnight (literally). This was enough for me to start to feel normal again (very important for function and wellbeing) but of course they're highly addictive and are not a long-term solution.

We tried a couple of other drugs, mostly low doses of antipsychotics (off-label use - discuss with your doctor, they'll know all about this) and I had terrible reactions to some (but in search of a permanent solution I was prepared to tolerate this).

Through trial and error we found a solution and now I take 20mg of Amitriptyline a day, don't need sleeping pills, sleep like a baby, wake up clear and have no side effects... my life is now relative bliss.

I know how you feel and it's unbearable so I wish you all the very best, you really need to start with your doctor.

 

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6 hours ago, Juggular said:

I should grow up and read some grown-up stuff, but grown-up stuff is so boring..)

 

My book suggestion wasn't a joke. That book teaches you to stop worrying about every little detail and only focus on the things that matter (your health, home, financial status, and relationships). It's helped me reduce stress at work. If anything, I suggest reading the reviews and see if it interest you or the OP. Yes, it is strongly worded, but gets the point across. :)

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While the book title didn't sound serious, but I didn't take it as a joke. (my comment about "grown stuff" was strictly about my silly reading choices, not about your suggestion. Just to make sure, I am sorry if it sounded like it.) 

Contemporary society does make us think too much.  

Oddly, I think it's our isolation that makes it worse.  (and this is not a joke either)  

My wife can't sleep if I'm not in bed with her.  She is an ultra-extrovert.  She'll want to be among 10 people every minute she's awake.  Within 2 months of moving here, she's been invited into like 8-9 neighboring houses.  She's like an automatic door opener, she goes around the neighborhood, and people volunteer to open their doors.  Without meaning to, we got to know who has how many cats, who has a finished basement, etc.  And then, she passes the baton to me (who is unwilling), and I end up talking to them.  People seem to mistake me for an extrovert like my wife.  

Anyway, the odd thing is, after talking about nothing much, I sleep well.  Sometimes my wife just goes upstairs and sleeps while I'm still drinking with a neighbor downstairs.  

I am suspecting that we humans have an innate need to belong to a group, a society.  Having a face-to-face time with another human being gives a sense of security.  Even for an extreme introvert like myself.  We feel comfortable psychologically, and we sleep better.  

If we are talking about terrible bosses, we are sharing the psychological burden.  We are saying, "hey man, I know what it is like. here is a worse thing that happened to me."  Such things making me feel better about my own situation.  All that doesn't change what happened that day.  But somehow that makes it better.  Instead of bottling things up, we unload.  Less things to think about at night.  Us sleeping better after talking with people is no definite proof that socializing helps.  But it might help.  

My Portuguese neighbors talk about not staying home all day in Portugal.  They go out for lunch, they eat dinner outside, and sit outside drinking coffee with neighbors at a cafe, laughing and joking, while kids play in front of that cafe.  They go home only to sleep.  And I suspect that they sleep better than people in U.S.  We only talk about productivity, performance at work and hear about murders on the news.  This culture needs to chill, and let us talk to neighbors.  We might sleep better.  (I know this isn't for everybody, including myself.  I am a product of this culture, I won't talk to any of them if left to my own devices... I should thank my wife for her annoyingly extroverted and sunny disposition)  Going back to the book, yes, I believe our culture needs to chill out, and individually, not giving a F*ck would help.  That book is on my list.

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