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Saito2

At what point do you let it (all) go?

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I'm sure quite a few of us are "collectors" or "hoarders"  when it comes to various bits and bobs that surround our RC hobby. My question is, how long do you hold onto those extras after you leave a hobby? I was very very hardcore into the full size car hobby for several decades. That, plus working in the trade means I have amassed a great deal of parts for said cars. They fall into roughly 3 categories. Some are specific to the cars I own and others are to cars I once owned and others still are generic parts. 

If a part get upgraded on a current car, I keep the original part. This is training from my life in restoration. My Mustang may have an upgraded aluminum driveshaft, but I kept the original for example.

I had VW and Jeeps so some parts still hang around. I can not bear to throw things of use out but selling things locally is a slog. I have a brand new clutch and flywheel for a Wrangler that hasn't sold at less than half price but I can't throw it out and am too stingy to give away.

I have tons of exhaust pipe sections (I made a lot of custom exhaust in the past) mufflers, cool hubcaps and more boxes of used hardware than I can imagine.

On one hand I love the feeling of using something I've held onto for years. My Mustang needed a random rear drum brake spring and I had one "in stock" because I had kept a partial Mustang brake spring kit I got form work, like 20 years ago. That was an awesome feeling, but I held onto those springs for 20 years before needing them. On the other hand, I positively hate spending money twice. Nothing is worse in my mind than buying something I once had 3 years ago but tossed or sold off. 

The thing is, my love for cars died about 5-6 years ago. After a solid lifetime of burning interest (that ruled my life to an unhealthy extent) it tapered off and died. The final nail in the coffin being caught in a horrible gaslighting scenario at a job that went on for too many years. If you remember the old show American Hot Rod with Boyd Coddington with all its horrible, distasteful, malignant manufactured drama, I basically lived it, caught by the need to put food on the table for my family. I've tinkered aimlessly with my cars here and there when the mood strikes (rarely) but even thinking about them sometimes makes me sick. When discussions about cars come up at my current job, I keep quiet. Its pretty plain there's a negative association built up between cars and that old job plus the overwhelming feeling of guilt of letting my driving interest ruin my life in some respects (wow, that sounded dark, lol)

At the end of the day, when do you think one knows when the "interest" is gone for good and its time to let go of it all? I really want to simplify and get rid of this anchor (car parts) around my neck. In time, I'd like to reduce the number of cars I own too, but that is a huge step that I can't possibly take just yet.

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If there are cars you cannot let go of I would suggest the passion is still there, just soured due to work .

I was also a auto tech , service advisor, ,heavy vehicle tech, snap on tools dealer etc for way too many years, I got out of the trade  completely and am happier for it, the passion will come back, maybe in a different way, but give it time

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I'd let it all go if there was one or more "forcing functions" in my life:

  • If my back was against the wall financially and I needed cash, then I'd start selling anything I didn't truly need.  Even if it meant suffering some losses, some incoming cash would buy me time to regroup and launch in another direction.
  • If my health was affected and I couldn't mentally or physically do my hobbies anymore, then I'd have to accept reality and start letting things go.  In that case I would consider bundling things together, like a vehicle and full set of saved parts, so the next person could continue the relationship with the object.
  • If my wife died, I'd probably be distraught for awhile, but eventually I'd reinvent my life.  Part of that reinvention would included liquidating a lot of things I have now and finding new passion/purpose.
  • If I suddenly needed to free up space in my house, like to accommodate a grown adult child again, I'd consider letting some things go just to create the needed space.
  • If I was moving for a new job in another city and needed to sell the house, I'd probably review everything really carefully and sell some things.  I moved quite a bit for the first 10 years of my career, and my wife and I were living a lean existence because we never had time in one location to accumulate things.

A lot of that sounds negative, almost like being a victim of circumstance.  Maybe there are some more positive "forcing functions" instead:

  • I might find a new passion in life, and after some time in it, I might conclude that my old passion will never come back.  I need space for the new passion, so something has to go.
  • I might run into someone who develops a passion for something I used to do, and I'll be happy to give away or sell my stuff cheap to support his newly-found passion (but only after I know he'll stick with it and not just flip my stuff for profit).  I'd get some satisfaction helping someone else.
  • Maybe there will come a point where my desire for order and structure  in the house becomes more important than conveniently scattering projects all around it.
  • If I'm lucky, I'll grow old, and I'll gracefully acknowledge I just don't have the energy for any of this nonsense anymore.  To anyone who has need, he can have my stuff.

I guess if there's nothing forcing you to take action, then there's probably no need to make a decision now.  If you can foresee circumstances changing, or if something happens to you, then that seems like the time to let things go.

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For me it’s going to be a life change. In the next year I need to start clearing out my garage for a complete rebuild that will give me a one bedroom living quarters over it. This will require me to totally clear out my garage and place it’s content in storage.  I need to make some hard decisions on what I want to keep and store and what I need to sell off. 

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simple answer, and someting i have had experiance with. we hobbiest hold onto things. when we look at a piece of whatever we see value. But, that value is not real. its in our heads. i wont say put it all in the trash but i will say be honest with yourself and deem what is a read value vs si=omething you see as value but will never use.

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To me it depends on the reason why let go...

for example I have a Aprilia SR50R 50cc scooter in mint condition but in parts... I need to put it together but because of the pandemic I cant justify 500€ For if. But I did not let go of that hobby even tho I did nothing in the last 5years.

 

but if I try to sell off some stuff from older forgotten hobbies I like to get at least the minimum amount of whats it worth.

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I guess a lot of it is seeing stuff that has sat, unused for over a decade. every once in a great while, something will come of use from that stuff but that's less and less now that I'm out of the hobby. I do see the need to free up space in the future. Not to be grim, but my mother won't live forever. When she passes, there will be a ton of her stuff and dad's stuff to go through. I will end up keeping much of dad's stuff because its useful, but need to make space for it.

I have to remember this isn't 1990 anymore. In those days you could pick up an old car for under $1000, tinker with it, and sell it in a couple years for another low budget project. Much of that stuff I have fit that model. I could throw on some headers or wheels or gauges I had hanging around. Those days are dead and gone so I'm thinking that stuff probably can go. I'm also not a kid anymore. Crawling around on the cold floor, grease up to my elbows, is not in the cards anymore with arthritis, and a bad back and shot knees, lol. 

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Well, I was going to reply to this but I think I’ll just Ditto @speedy_w_beans it’s pretty much spot on for me.. I’ve had many hobbies over the years, I don’t think I’ve ever sold anything... I’m fortunate to not have been in the position to have to recoup the money. I really feel for those who have had to sell their passions to survive. 

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4 minutes ago, Saito2 said:

. I do see the need to free up space in the future. Not to be grim, but my mother won't live forever. When she passes, there will be a ton of her stuff and dad's stuff to go through. I will end up keeping much of dad's stuff because its useful, but need to make space for it

I kind of form attachments to things which are well made, or useful, or have a kind of natural order to them.. so I’d hold onto a collection of decent quality matching set of screw drivers for ever.. but a collection of old family ornaments, furniture even photo albums I’d have no connection to and easily dispose of.. I just don’t connect, I’ll get a birthday or Christmas card, read it then straight into the recycle bin.. My partner thinks I’m a robot.. she would keep things like that displayed for months.. then put them in a drawer and never look at them again.. of course there are exceptions.. but we’re just wired differently. My partners mother has dementia and is having difficulty with everyday things like putting a coat on. So when I look at her house, 50 years of accumulated tat, I’d have no problem with reducing that to the bare minimum of objects in the hope she retains some practical knowledge of how to use what’s left. My partner wont remove a single item for fear she’ll lose the emotional connection to it.. so for now even things like the wall of VHS tapes with stuff recorded off the TV in the 1990’s is staying.. (they have no player and she cant see TV images..) If ever I offer any practical advise I get shut down. I’m not looking forward to the clear out when it eventually happens.. Rather than doing a little each time we visit, it’ll become one huge emotional marathon job and I can see our house being filled with old VHS tapes... All this said.. I hope my boy one day will not think my collection of well kept screwdrivers a burden :)

 

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I keep everything.  Too many times in the past have I suffered sellers remorse.  I've collected toys, records, old skateboards, rc stuff, motorcycle stuff, comic books, etc. and I can recall at least one item out of all those categories I've sold and now regret.  When my daughter is old enough to go to college or get married (ugh, the thought of that makes me nauseous) I'll sell off some of my collectible things but until then,, unless I lose my job or suffer some other financial hardship,  I'll hold off. 

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I sold a whole bunch of stuff some of which I'd been keeping around for decades.  Most of it wasn't really worth anything, like old toys from when I was a kid, but it would either have sentimental value or some kind of potential utility.  Some of it was harder to let go of than I expected but what I found helped was that people were often really happy about receiving the things I was selling.  Missing parts to their collections or something they just really wanted.  Instead of some time in the future where maybe I could use or want it, it was going to someone who got that use out of it now.

There were things I previously thought I'd never sell but once they were gone it actually became a relief.  A lot of things I also simply threw out.  I'm not a hoarder but I've seen that kind of thinking in others and where it leads.  The idea that everything is valuable and someone somewhere will pay top dollar for it all so it can't be let go of.  Next thing you know you're being buried under a pyramid in the desert with your servants and mummified cats.

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Another good topic.  I have been thinking about this a lot recently due to my father getting older and him finally starting to let go of a few things that he hasn't used in years.  We're cut from the same cloth, like the same things (1:1 cars, part, RC, models, etc), and neither of us ever get rid of anything.  I still have a ways to go, but I know I have tons of things that I will never use again, but of course they still have "value" to me for the  "just in case" scenario.  I would like to be proactive about this so as not to burden my family with my "junk" when I'm gone.  I do always tell my wife to not just give away my stuff in the garage if I were to pass as its not junk and could probably put my daughter through college :)  

As far as letting know when it's time, that's really tough for me.  I definitely have things I haven't used in years and can't rationally think I'll ever use again but my interests in certain hobbies do come and go every few years so you never know.  Sometimes I get fed up with the expense/time investment in real cars so I dont touch them for 6 months to a year, but I always end up coming back to them.  The real fear for me is letting go of basically irreplaceable items just in case I'd ever need them.  It's pretty much a constant struggle for me honestly.

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Just watched this on Netflix.  It's an interesting tale of two men who grew up poor, filled their lives with work stress and buying stuff, and then downsized their possessions to focus on what's really important to them in life.  Earlier I said it would take some sort of "forcing function" to let things go...  In this case it seems their growing dissatisfaction and search for meaning is what pushed them to adopt minimalism:

 

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After many experiments with religions and philosophies and hallucinogenics, I’ve eliminated the part of my Ego that requires material possessions. Don’t get me wrong, I like having stuff, and I like hunting and collecting. But I have no problem shedding my skin for something new. Change is exciting.

Terry

 

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That looks very interesting, will have to watch.  Hope it doesn't make me turn around and get rid of all my stuff :)  I like to think that all of my "stuff" makes me happy, and I think it does, but there are stresses that come with it and I feel that quite often.  I'm the type that just can't stand to leave anything unfinished and try to get as much done in as little time as possible.  That goes for work, home, hobbies, etc, I treat them all the same.  Sometime I wish I didn't as activities/hobbies that are supposed to be fun & relaxing sometime get to feeling like a chore.  My wife always says I don't know how to relax and she's probably right, definitley not the type to sit around and chat or watch tv, always have to be "accomplishing" something or getting something done.  I think if I became a minimalist I'd end up going nuts.  Although I do think about what I'll do with all of my stuff when I'm too old to use or enjoy it...At this point I'm just rambling, but sometimes posting on TC is like a free therapy session, makes me think and self-reflect more than I would otherwise.

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8 hours ago, 87lc2 said:

My wife always says I don't know how to relax and she's probably right, definitley not the type to sit around and chat or watch tv, always have to be "accomplishing" something or getting something done.  I think if I became a minimalist I'd end up going nuts. 

My wife says the same about me...I'm always doing something. I ask her what its like to have a quiet mind, to not think about anything, to relax mentally, because I have no idea. If I'm awake, I'm thinking about things, often times several at a time or laser focused on one if I'm on a bend about something in particular. But, she is a minimalist and I'm highly nostalgic. 

They can say your memories aren't in your stuff, being in your mind instead, but the fact is, an object can have sentimental importance and trigger memories as well as be a physical representation of those memories. I don't need my first Tamiya. Its retired to the shelf but I'd never part with it.

I have things I "dig my heels in about" because of how I am. I know it makes me rigid. I can not tolerate being late for instance. If I'm focused on a project at work, its nearly impossible for me to be yanked off it and redirected before its completion. Unfortunately, I've been approaching the car hobby the same way. For something that was the bedrock of my being for so long, its strange not to be able to look at it.

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My sife is the same way, she can just sit outside in the yard on a nice day and relax, I can't do it.  I'm thinking of all of the things I could be getting done with such nice weather.  I also agree that objects can help trigger those memories that might otherwise just stay buried deep down so to me they do have a purpose.

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On 1/6/2021 at 10:55 PM, Saito2 said:

They can say your memories aren't in your stuff, being in your mind instead, but the fact is, an object can have sentimental importance and trigger memories as well as be a physical representation of those memories.

Once you get past retirement age, memories aren't always as solid as they once were.  Having physical objects that trigger memories could be a part to good mental health in later life.  Men are less apt to keep photos or have conversations about things going on in their life than women (based on pure speculation and personal observation here) so some physical objects can play an important part in maintaining a sense of self.

Will I need a shed full of model cars and video games?  Maybe...  ;)

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On 12/27/2020 at 9:40 PM, Saito2 said:

At the end of the day, when do you think one knows when the "interest" is gone for good and its time to let go of it all? 

I think if you're asking the question, you already have an idea.

"Of it all", might be a bit extreme imo, but a bit of a go through of your stock, if you're anything like me, you'll find parts you forgot about, which you can defo move on and parts for cars you don't own anymore ,I'd move on too. 

I found ,once I'd cleared some room, it gave me a bit of breathing space, a bit less claustrophobic (?).

I started doing that with RC stuff, sold parts and cars I'd not used, and bought things I wanted ,but couldn't justify The expenditure (if that makes sense) ,one was a Sanwa Exzes ZZ, the most expensive single RC purchase to date!!

 

On a side note, I'm starting to get my mojo back with my 1:1, made a bit of progress....

2021-01-14_10-34-26

 

 

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52 minutes ago, KEV THE REV said:

Looks like your Mojo is deffo working - nice one  !! :)

Cheers, 

It really helped sorting through everything when I moved recently, turned out I had the mounting bushes and a new radiator (🤦‍♂️), but also turned out, I have 3 started motors, so didn't actually need the new one I've put on... (but 3 starters for the eBay pile!)

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