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Introverts?

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I'm an introvert as is my wife. I often get the feeling that we are the only ones (j/k). Anybody else get that feeling? I was first "accused" of being an introvert by a soccer coach in my youth. He spoke of it with such distain, I was made to feel something was seriously wrong with me. Of course that wasn't the case but when adults (who hold a place of "power" in kids minds at that age) practice armchair psychology like that, it can be dangerous. 

So, fellow introverts, how do you cope? I live in what appears to be a world of extroverts. They do not understand things about my wife and I like:

Our dislike of small talk. I don't have the time or the need to "shoot the breeze" with neighbors and family. Get to the point and move on. Now, if you want to get into a serious or meaningful discussion about a topic, I'm all ears.

Dislike of social situations. We have a company Christmas party at work. Employees are forced to attend. If they choose not to, they are required to go back to work. I go back to work to the utter amazement of nearly everyone there. Parties and get-togethers exhaust me. I have an "act" or "front" that I put up to appear normal in these cases, but its becoming more and more tiring as I get older. I just don't want to deal with it anymore.

I like burying myself in my hobbies and solitude. Its calm a refreshing to me. This baffles the extrovert. A good day is being off with the wife and child on a hike or something, not being surrounded by other people.

I have no truly close friends outside of my wife. I need a person to be close with. That's it. My family has said on multiple occasions that they find it sad and that something is wrong with us for not have a large network of friends...that we are somehow broken and should be ashamed in some way. 

The crux of the matter is I manage to accept and get through a world of extroverts but they are completely clueless about what its like to be an introvert. I can at least understand how being social can be invigorating to some. I can understand how some need a great deal of constant stimulation. What they don't get is that kind of stimulation is akin to the world "screaming" at me. Its too much to bear at times. I do not understand their drive to change or push me into being like them. They become almost hostile when they see the depths of my wife and I's introversion. There is no acceptance. 

I have neighbors who does nothing but small talk constantly and incessantly. Getting snagged by them is at least 1/2 hour wasted. I avoid contact at all cost, but frequently they hunt you down to strike up conversation. I have point blank told them we are quiet and like to keep to ourselves recently but to no effect. It doesn't help that we practice safe social distancing and they are ardent Trump supporters (still got the sigh out) who don't believe in the pandemic at all. I constantly have to be aware when I'm outside to ward them off by reminding them we believe in the pandemic and practice safe social distancing. Its infuriating. Given the previous example, how does one handle this situation? 

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I am exactly same as you. I didn't know that it was called being introvert and there are more people like me. If I talk to someone I don't know it gives me anxiety all day and my heart rhythm goes back to normal only after I sleep. My phone is disabled to numbers that are not in my contacts. Even dealing with people online that I am selling to give me anxiety lately so I had to stop doing it. Luckily I don't work or go out, even though I live with zero money I am happy this way.

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I grew up as an introvert and tested several times in college as INTP using the Meyers-Briggs personality test. I was never one for conversations and only spoke when it was significant.

As a toubled youth that attended a “behavior modification” boarding school for 2 years, I learned to look inside and understand that life is all about choices.  Nothing is set in stone.

I chose to become extroverted. Yes, conversations can be shallow and seem meaningless, but they’re not.  After time of saying “hi” to people in passing and forcing myself to partake in social activities, it becomes second nature to become extroverted.  I also pushed myself to become a classroom instructor for motorcycle safety and training programs at work.  Even talking trash with the guys and repeating funny lines and jokes is bonding with people.
Several issues remain from the troubled youth days, so I choose not to drink or attend work events for fear of acting an a way that could jeopardize my job.

Talking to people and hanging out, regardless of how meaningless conversations are, is bonding with people. Some of those people are just like us.

It’s taken me years to retrain myself to put myself out there, and it would be easy to close the doors to the world again.  I find that listening to others, sharing knowledge and experience, and generosity & being responsible earns the confidence of those around me. As such my life has become filled with people who believe in me.

Most introverts share similar personality traits; situational awareness, intelligence, a high threshold for excitement, and artistic talents. When shared with others, it earns admiration.

So, how do I cope? I chose to grow. It took time to develop new habits, but I made it happen.

”Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”

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I think you've summed up the challenges and experiences of many. Extrovert is to good as introvert is to bad has been a prevailing association for as long as I can remember.

Extroverts by their nature tend to group together, giving them the influence of the mob. Lone introverts meanwhile become easy scapegoats. Extroverts would seem to make excellent conscripts, be it for war or assembly line manufacturing. I think those two features - they seek out association, and tend to avoid depth, have put them at the core of our societal advancements for thousands of years. The 'grumpy loners' are difficult to work with, so we don't build as many associations and don't benefit from that social network.

I think introverts have started coming in to their own, perhaps in large part empowered by the internet. We can reach out about topics we care about, post a detailed comment or two, and another introvert can find it later and build on it. And moreover I think society at large is starting to realize that intro/extro-version exists on a spectrum, with unique strengths throughout. Personally I find it helps me to stand back and take a 'Simcity' view of the situation if you will. It lets me appreciate the value in the extroverts association, and in the introverts desire for depth without distraction.

There are plenty of nice extroverts out there that understand not everyone is like them (and the same is true of introverts). I think the problem is with the simpletons on both sides - that genuinely can't seem to fathom that other people want/like different things. Those extroverts are particularly irksome, while those introverts are particularly withdrawn (so they don't cause much of a bother).

As to what you do as an introvert. Well posts like this are a fair start: you help yourself and others by relating challenges and experiences - at a minimum we know we're not alone or broken. I find it helps me to view the extroverted simpletons as needy houseplants: give them a bit of attention and then get on with your day.

For the pandemic deniers - oi, I dunno man. I think a lot of us are just baffled by them.  I have co-workers that have lost multiple family members, and other co-workers convinced it isn't real. The denial is so deep, and confronting reality means abandoning much of their worldview - most just aren't up to the task. My best advice for coping is to remember that by interacting with them you are helping to humanize what they see as 'the other side' - perhaps over time it will make them less extreme.

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Nothing wrong with that at all. Some people are healthy, happy and with a very small number of friends. Or just a wife.

I'd also not want to speak to my neighbours if they were Trump supporting 'demic deniers either.

I find that neighbour chit chat quite awkward - just that banality of talking, but do love shooting the breeze with good, real friends from time to time. Not everything is binary - so there may be situations where you are introverted and others when you are less so, so perhaps find the times where you can be more extroverted IF you want too. That doesn't mean being the centre of attention, that might just be grabbing a beer with a couple of good friends, which is my only idea of a good night out these days.

My job requires me to talk to large crowds of people - but I'd also spend most parties in the kitchen, and have pretty never much got talking to a stranger at a bar.

Lastly, and again, I know almost nothing about you, but could there be a chance you are on the autistic spectrum? I've slowly come to the realisation that my dad is autistic, and **** if it doesn't make a lot of things make more sense.  I'm not saying that introverted people are autistic, I'm saying that sometimes people with autism can outwardly demonstrated introverted behaviour.

 

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My Mom was very much an extrovert and Dad is an introvert, some how I got stuck in the middle where J’ve had jobs that require me to talk to complete strangers, mostly face to face and now over the phone last few years.  Either could be tiring, usually I like being in situations off the clock where I don’t have to be all that talkative and/or only have to be around my Dad, Sister, her Husband, their toddler, and his immediate family or select friends.  That’s the interesting thing about this whole Covid mess, I know some people have had a hard time with the lock downs and restrictions, but I haven’t really cared much about not being able to go party, eat in restaurants, go to bars, etc, only reason I’d do any of those is if I was getting food when I was away from home, I’m not a party or bar goer, so that was never a problem. Only thing I walk like to do is go to the gym and start lifting again, I had for a little while before this happened and didn’t want to risk my Dad’s or my own life by catching something. Most of the time I’ve run my R/C stuff like my Bandit, Stampede, Revo, M-03, basically my fast stuff, I could do that in my driveway and yard, the crawler stuff, I have to go places to really get the most out of those, but always try to when I’m going to minimize interactions so I don’t have to play 20 Questions or worse with somebody, since I’m not selling them any more.

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2 hours ago, Blissard said:

If I talk to someone I don't know it gives me anxiety all day and my heart rhythm goes back to normal only after I sleep. My phone is disabled to numbers that are not in my contacts.

I understand. Lately I feel as if I've had a harder time appearing "normal", When I speak with people, I find myself replaying the interaction in my head afterwards and stressing that I might have said something perceived as weird or strange. If I don't recognize a phone number, I don't answer. If its important, they'll leave a message.

1 hour ago, Nikko85 said:

Lastly, and again, I know almost nothing about you, but could there be a chance you are on the autistic spectrum? I've slowly come to the realisation that my dad is autistic, and **** if it doesn't make a lot of things make more sense.  I'm not saying that introverted people are autistic, I'm saying that sometimes people with autism can outwardly demonstrated introverted behaviour.

 

Yes, I am autistic as is my daughter. I am also an introvert while she is an extrovert. My autism and introversion actually dovetail rather nicely while being autistic, yet extroverted has been a struggle for my daughter.

1 hour ago, SupraChrgd82 said:

I chose to become extroverted. Yes, conversations can be shallow and seem meaningless, but they’re not.

I chose to mimic common personality-type neurotypicals (who in large part are often extroverted) as a coping mechanism to get through life. I force myself to be seen as "pleasant and polite" by saying good morning, etc, but, in the end, I am an introvert and do not feel as though I can change/retrain myself into being otherwise. I'm still faking it after decades and it never became second nature because it isn't who I am. You bring up several good points presenting the benefits of being more extroverted however. I can spot a fellow introvert through careful observation. If need be, these are the people I gingerly gravitate toward in social situations. They often provide the most stimulating conversations in my experience. Extroverts are like open books to me often times and small talk seems shallow if not also revealing to what makes them tick.

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Oh, man, I can definitely relate. Social gatherings are exhausting for me, even with people I know and love. Luckily my friends are accepting, though maybe not fully undertsanding, of this, and will ask me if I want to join in something, but not pester me if I don't. My wife is extroverted, but a bit misanthropic; she has very little patience for vapid or boorish people or idle small talk, but she does like an audience, and she is far better at breaking the ice than I am. Most of "our" friends are her friends that I sort of piggyback onto. I like them, and I enjoy their company (in small doses), but I wouldn't be friends with them if she hadn't initiated that friendship. So I'm thankful to her for being outgoing enough to make friends, but also for not suffering fools, so she makes good friends.

I've often wondered if I fall somewhere on the spectrum, probably more towards Asperger's. I do tend to obsess (and babble) about my hobbies, and I have always been physically awkward, and even when I was young my classmates told me I "talk weird" (though I also started reading at age three, and generally had a much larger vocabulary than my classmates, so that may have been what they meant). I can read through a list of AS symptoms and go "yep, yep, sometimes, sorta, yep...", but really, it doesn't matter; I've carved out a niche for myself that works, and settled into a life that I'm not unhappy with, so going to see some professional to have a label slapped on it is of no value to me, and might even be harmful, if others start treating me differently because of a "disorder." I've already struggled with that due to my intelligence; my IQ has been professionally tested three times in my life, and consistently lands in the top .001% (144-160 depending on the test used), but what does that mean? Nothing at all, if I don't "do" anything with it, and I never have. But if people know you're "super smart," they have certain expectations of you, especially others with high IQs. It's exhausting to keep up those expectations (especially as an introvert), so I've been "playing dumb" around other smart people all my life, as much as, I suppose, I "play normal" around extroverts.

And to some degree, as the old saying goes, "Better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

I've also found that my introvertedness and my intelligence and my Asperger-like tendencies all do meet in my hobbies. I've described my mind to a friend of mine (who is very similar to me) as being like an excitable puppy: I need to give it a toy to play with, because otherwise it starts chewing on the furniture. I have as much trouble concentrating on most movies or TV shows as I do concentrating on a conversation that doesn't interest me. My mind just wanders, and I miss things, and then I get upset because I don't know what's going on, and even more upset because I really don't care what's going on. But I can easily get lost in a book, and stay up far too late reading. I don't have any real interest in joining clubs for either RC cars or real cars, because that means I have to be social about the things that should be "just mine;" talking about them to others actually sort of ruins them in a way. (Internet interactions seem to be exempt from this, though I don't understand why.) But I will spend all day in my workshop working on the suspension of a model, getting everything set just exactly right, for the satisfaction of doing it, and never show a soul.

And then my wife pops her head in and asks what I'm working on, and I have to choose between the long-winded explanation (which always makes her eyes glaze over) or saying "Oh, just tinkering with stuff..."

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Asperger's has been under the autism spectrum disorder since the DSM-5 came out. I feel as though the spectrum diagnosis brought more people under the umbrella, so to speak. Tamiya and vintage RC in general is referred to as a "special interest" in my case. I liken it to as always having a radio on in the background of my thoughts. When I get stressed, I commonly turn that "radio" up.  Its a safe place for my thoughts. RC and vehicles in general dominated my thoughts as a kid to the point where I honestly cared about little else. When I was quite young, my parents noted my fixation on trucks including studying the trash trucks that came by the house twice a week. While trucks became an early focus (literally every toy, coloring book etc. had to center around trucks for me), it was the visibly spinning driveshafts and universal joints that utterly mesmerized me. Having no concept of what gearing was, I was quite curious, examining the rotational speed of the driveshaft vs that of the wheels. That's not normal for a 3 year old.

Adapting to social situations is a struggle. My memories are ridged and I had trouble adapting them to constantly changing situations. Eventually (between disastrous middle school and "better" high school) I began to mimic other people, adapting to those around me in any given situation to "blend in". Closely studying others (tempo of voice, tone of voice, facial expressions, body language) became a survival mechanism. On the other hand, this made me a good judge of character according to my wife, but its just a side affect of the coping mechanism. I also developed what I call my "rolodex". If someone speaks to me casually, I flip through my rolodex for the appropriate response. Everything I do in social situations is calculated and requires concentration. If I relax, I risk "going all weird" by being myself. My wife and child are the only ones that truly know me. 

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  • As an adolescent and a teen, I'd rather solder circuits and program a computer than go to a party.
  • One of my best childhood friends has explained to others "he doesn't come out of his shell much."
  • I virtually aced all math and science classes, and graduated with a 97% final GPA in electrical engineering.  The curriculum included interesting topics like calculus, differential equations, electromagnetic field and wave theory, communications and control systems, discrete time state space control systems, circuits and systems analysis, optics, etc.
  • My father predicted early that I'd do well in engineering and do poorly at managing people.  He was right; I'd much rather calculate something, run simulations, write documentation, or something else creative and individual with some background music playing.  Doing something concrete and measurable is much more appealing to me.
  • My sister-in-law has told my wife "your husband suffers from depression."  She doesn't understand how I can be content living the life I do.
  • The constant flow of email, instant messages, and meetings at work nearly kills me.  It bothers me when an idea I've crafted carefully is easily tossed aside, yet a group of people will talk in circles and then schedule more meetings to talk in circles some more.  I can't stand laziness, mediocrity, tribalism, dishonesty, and other outcomes from groupthink.
  • I'm extremely guarded and stick to the edge of the room when visiting a social event filled with people I don't know.  On the flip side, I do very well with others on a one-on-one basis when we can have a meaningful exchange.
  • My neighbor works in sales and talks to me way too much if we're bringing trash cans to the curb at the same time.  I honestly don't care about the nuances of BMW models and features.  But if he needs help with a house or car project, I'm more than willing to pitch in.
  • Current coping mechanisms:  Not using social media.  Keeping it real with a small group of friends.  Short, simple, polite exchanges with random people.  E-commerce for the win, or venturing out with a clear mission in mind.  Avoiding random social environments.
  • Personal Hades:  Water parks, amusement parks, NASCAR races, Disneyland, company picnics, new church congregations, corporate America, and certain relatives.
  • Ideal job:  If I was 20 again and knew myself then like I know myself now, jobs that would appeal to me would include field scientist/researcher, farmer, detective, spy/assassin, sniper, or "fixer."  Something that combines knowledge, experience, and action on an individual level to effect a larger system congruent with my beliefs and values.

I'm regularly amazed my wife married me and is 100% supportive of me.  I've asked her many times if she is truly happy, does she want more adventure, etc.  She's an introvert as well and simply enjoys reading and quilting.  Quiet days suit her well; she has no desire to be the life of the party either.  We're cut from the same cloth and are happy together.  What the rest of the world thinks doesn't matter much to us.

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Well.. I can relate to most of you.

I still am extroverted once I am accepted by a group I would call friends.

Same as most of you said, not much to see but once you get to know me you see I really do a lot and keep myself interested with hobbies and family lately more then friends.

my ex wife used to be a extrovert so much she misunderstood me rather then understood. A question comes to my mind... how do introverts find each other.. Pretty much seems to need a mutual interest in order to make contact?

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55 minutes ago, Fabia130vRS said:

A question comes to my mind... how do introverts find each other.. Pretty much seems to need a mutual interest in order to make contact?

In most cases I would agree aside from blind luck of circumstance. I suppose certain career fields appealing to introverts would up the odds. In my case, since I people-watch obsessively, I tend to spot my own "kind". Fellow introverts can be quite a challenge to work up a "profile" on as they aren't exactly spewing clues about themselves everywhere like an extrovert. After many months of observation and deduction, I usually manage to gently build up a rapport with them. I like fellow introverts. They provide very stimulating conversation but don't overload me.

1 hour ago, speedy_w_beans said:
  • As an adolescent and a teen, I'd rather solder circuits and program a computer than go to a party.
  • One of my best childhood friends has explained to others "he doesn't come out of his shell much."
  • I virtually aced all math and science classes, and graduated with a 97% final GPA in electrical engineering.  The curriculum included interesting topics like calculus, differential equations, electromagnetic field and wave theory, communications and control systems, discrete time state space control systems, circuits and systems analysis, optics, etc.
  • My father predicted early that I'd do well in engineering and do poorly at managing people.  He was right; I'd much rather calculate something, run simulations, write documentation, or something else creative and individual with some background music playing.  Doing something concrete and measurable is much more appealing to me.
  • My sister-in-law has told my wife "your husband suffers from depression."  She doesn't understand how I can be content living the life I do.
  • The constant flow of email, instant messages, and meetings at work nearly kills me.  It bothers me when an idea I've crafted carefully is easily tossed aside, yet a group of people will talk in circles and then schedule more meetings to talk in circles some more.  I can't stand laziness, mediocrity, tribalism, dishonesty, and other outcomes from groupthink.
  • I'm extremely guarded and stick to the edge of the room when visiting a social event filled with people I don't know.  On the flip side, I do very well with others on a one-on-one basis when we can have a meaningful exchange.
  • My neighbor works in sales and talks to me way too much if we're bringing trash cans to the curb at the same time.  I honestly don't care about the nuances of BMW models and features.  But if he needs help with a house or car project, I'm more than willing to pitch in.
  • Current coping mechanisms:  Not using social media.  Keeping it real with a small group of friends.  Short, simple, polite exchanges with random people.  E-commerce for the win, or venturing out with a clear mission in mind.  Avoiding random social environments.
  • Personal Hades:  Water parks, amusement parks, NASCAR races, Disneyland, company picnics, new church congregations, corporate America, and certain relatives.
  • Ideal job:  If I was 20 again and knew myself then like I know myself now, jobs that would appeal to me would include field scientist/researcher, farmer, detective, spy/assassin, sniper, or "fixer."  Something that combines knowledge, experience, and action on an individual level to effect a larger system congruent with my beliefs and values.

I'm regularly amazed my wife married me and is 100% supportive of me.  I've asked her many times if she is truly happy, does she want more adventure, etc.  She's an introvert as well and simply enjoys reading and quilting.  Quiet days suit her well; she has no desire to be the life of the party either.  We're cut from the same cloth and are happy together.  What the rest of the world thinks doesn't matter much to us.

Sorry to re-quote all of that, but it was beautifully worded and makes me feel less alone. 

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https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/horror-movies-for-introverts

Yup, pretty much this. I am the King, Queen, Ace and Jack of All Introverts.

My wife, by contrast, is not. I could drop her into the jungles of the Congo, and within an hour, she'd have a friend, who would invite her to their hut to eat that missionary that they just caught and barbecued.

But God help these poor people if they give my wife the keys to their hut.

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On 2/14/2021 at 12:16 PM, speedy_w_beans said:
  • The constant flow of email, instant messages, and meetings at work nearly kills me.  It bothers me when an idea I've crafted carefully is easily tossed aside, yet a group of people will talk in circles and then schedule more meetings to talk in circles some more.

Wow, does this ring true. When I changed jobs a few years back I made the move from "back in the shop" to "up in the front office," and I'm still wondering if it was the right move. It's absolutely infuriating to me to waste time trying to convince others that an idea will work instead of just doing it and showing them that it works. I think I was happier with tools in my hands. But in my business, the money is up front, so I put up with it. For now.

With your neighbor, if you see/hear him taking the trash cans out, do you wait inside until he's done and goes back in? I've been known to...

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6 hours ago, markbt73 said:

With your neighbor, if you see/hear him taking the trash cans out, do you wait inside until he's done and goes back in? I've been known to...

Yeah, there have been times when I hear him coming through the neighborhood in one of his mod'd BMWs and I'll take 30 seconds to leave the front yard and get a cool drink in the house.  There are two sides to the relationship, I guess.  On one hand I've had the opportunity to see some fairly interesting cars up close (427 Cobra replica, Supra MkIV, E46 M3, 911 Turbo, and several other BMWs); on the other hand I've been trapped in several boring conversations about carbon fiber front lips, rear wings, wheels and offsets, tire compounds, stereos, etc.  I try to not get sucked into the "what car to buy next" conversations as I'm rarely in the market for a car myself, and I don't buy anything near his price range.  There's a lot of subjectivity to the conversations.

He's not a bad guy; I just don't want to get stuck outside for an hour talking about really minute, subjective, unrelatable details.

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My neighbor is commonly aimlessly wandering around his front yard in warmer weather looking for passers by to strike up a conversation with. He would frequently catch me entering my front door after a 10 hour day when I was a mechanic. Often times, he tried to get me to fix something on his car for free or would pick my brains about technical issues. He was one of those fellows that wouldn't really accept the answer you gave him if it wasn't cheap, constantly re-wording the question and circling around, trying to get vindication for his half-baked ideas on solutions. Lol, one time, I hadn't gotten out of my car and he rushed over, standing by my open door pestering me with a car question. This is not what I want to do upon arriving home.

I slip in the back door now.

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Anybody else love the night-time? Or winter?  I do. 

It's not that I like the darkness or coldness. But night-time allows me to enjoy the quiet. Winter gives me more night time.  Needless to say, I like the isolation from the pandemic. (People dying is terrible. But removing myself from the "tx" & "rx" equation is good for everybody).  

Introverts know that there are extroverts and introverts. Extroverts think introverts don't exist. My neighbors hold a street party every year.  They did it even during 2020. (I doubt that anybody showed up)  They were surprised when my wife told them I'm basically a shut-in. They thought I was like them.  

As a child, I'd rather stay home and read books or tinker with stuff.  I'm not an emotional person. I'm never overly happy, sad, depressed, nor easily rattled or surprised. The definition of living a life means having all kinds of ups and downs. No need to exhaust myself by over reacting. That does not mean that I don't feel any emotion.  If you stay home and read books, you get to live inside of characters' minds few hours at a time. That made me be more empathetic. 

That's another misconception: Just because I don't go around saying, "hey, how you doin'?" dozens of times, they think I cannot relate to people.  If I see some kid scraping his knee on TV, I get that sickening and panicky "danger" feeling myself. (He's acting, obviously!)  Whatever the topic is, I could relate half the times (except for being an extrovert).  By the same token, me being able to relate doesn't make me an extrovert. I don't mind listening to people. I ask questions. I make connections within the topic, and they would approve. (I don't care if they approve or not. It's a way to learn things for myself, but people seem to like it.)  I showed up to the street party a couple of times. I talked to neighbors. That seems to have made an impression that I'm a people-person.  

When we moved here, my wife had to know all the people around us. She's an ultra-extrovert. If I ask her if I should brush our dog's teeth, she'll tell me all about neighbors' dogs, Cupcake, Cinnamon and Lexi on our street. Even our neighbor's son's dog, Charlie, and how Nancy got bitten by a cat. I like dogs, but I really don't need to remember 4 dogs' names. Thanks to her, I know them by their first names (that, and they don't have last names). And she still manages to not answer the one question I asked. So I start brushing and she'd say, "oh, why are you doing that? I'm going to feed him now, you silly you."  Extroverts... she thinks I'm happy if she graces me with all the gossips. I keep telling her that she's torturing me. But of course, I don't think she believes that I'm an introvert. 

Extroverts tend to believe the opinions of the people they know.  If the people around them are scientific, they'll go with science.  If the people around them are not, they will pretend that the clinical facts don't exist.  It's like they have the supernatural ability to turn off the stuff they already know. Singing "I believe I can fly" won't make them fly. They know that. But they act like they could.  They cannot believe that everybody is different. (Which is why they are shocked when results are different from their expectations--they make up stuff to squeeze reality into their fanciful expectations. Humans are endlessly fascinating!) 

As for me, I've been reading stuff like this a couple years before the pandemic started. (I don't read serious stuff. This is a science fiction. It isn't really about viruses either. But you get to learn about how the CDC works---or 'had worked' traditionally. They don't usually wait around until the pandemic hit the shore. CDC would send the best and brightest doctors wherever transmittable diseases break out. At least that's how CDC used to work. I can almost guarantee that if you read 30 zombie novels, you won't get surprised by stuff like the real pandemic... lol... You bet I take the virus seriously. Introverts are tiny bit less likely to be swayed by other people's opinions too. Group-thinking isn't really our thing, is it? We tend to come to our own conclusions.)  

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I dread being among people. They drain me.  Being alone is fun. I can tinker, sketch, or read.

I like the quiet that comes with it. I keep the rain-sound on my white-noise maker at the lowest volume.  My wife may snore lightly. My tiny dog would attach himself to my side like a whale's calf. Sometimes he'd quietly sleep-bark, drool on my leg or do that sleep-running paw-movements dogs do.  If it's cold, I may have a blanket over my head. I keep the kindle's screen black. Only the letters would float white in total darkness. And I sink into the depths of a character. (Generally speaking, male authors are not really good at character developing. I prefer female authors, even for Star Wars books.)  

So... yeah, I love the feeling of being totally alone when the world has gone to sleep. If you know what I'm talking about, you are an introvert. If you think being alone is like a punishment, then you are an extrovert... There is no right or wrong kinds. The world needs both kinds. 

 

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I'd love to stay and discuss this but I have to get home to feed the cat and also I'm expecting a parcel and I think I may have left the heating on. Maybe some other time, though?

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Seriously though, yes, I tend to prefer peace and quiet by myself a lot apart from a very select few people. Generally hate social gatherings, especially loud ones where you have to shout over music. I just spend the whole time wanting a way out like a trapped animal.

I can tolerate the odd trip to a pub or something if it's relatively quiet but I've found I'm quite exact about it being on my terms. I'd rather have a day time meal in a pub than be there in the evening with loads of loud people *shudder*

I'm also quite shy and take a long time to be comfortable around people, I've always assumed that's related to the introversion. I remember once being about 10-12 and my older brother took me and my sister to the beach and didn't tell us he was meeting one of his friends with their family there. I literally almost had a nervous breakdown. I remember it vividly to this day. Literally felt my face turn cold.

I've gotten a bit better over the years but I still have tremendous difficulty making new friends and even if I manage to be relatively bright and chirpy at a social occasion, I still find myself breathing a massive sigh of relief afterwards and feel exhausted.

Autistic? I've never seen anyone about it but at 38 and having a lot of time to think about it I think yes, I'm probably on the spectrum at least. When I factor in the introversion/shyness and the fact that I can be very particular about some things (but not all) I'm also incredibly threatened by some forms of change still. Not quite as bad as I used to be, I think that comes with age, but some things still really send me into a panic.

I've come to accept I can be a bit of a hoarder/collector too, especially when it comes to hobbies. I was like it with photography, obsessed with gathering every little accessory and add on then the same way with lego and I'm like it with RC now. I buy so much stuff speculatively and plan so many things out ahead and hoard all the necessary little bits and pieces. 

I've also noticed sort of mini-trends when it comes to the outdoors parts of my hobbies too which I think might be another indicator. For example, it takes me quite a lot of willpower to actually leave the house in the first place but when I do, wherever I go, that place tends to become a safe place I cling to for at least half a dozen subsequent outings. So say for example I decide to go to Cardiff Bay to take photos. I'll go there, take photos, go home and then the next time I go out, Instead of going somewhere totally different, It will be Cardiff Bay again and this can go on for months at a time. Then finally, I'll force myself to make a change and for example, I'll decide to go to the beach instead and then I'll end up going back to the exact same spot maybe dozens of times. And then even though I really like all of these places, I might not go back again for years while I go through a succession of medium term addictions to various other locations. I don't know if anyone else is like that.

Also, I seemed to start off quite well at school but as I got into my teens, sometimes things started to almost become an abstract concept to me sometimes and I had difficulty taking things in the same way as other kids. I still get that now sometimes but strangely, I am interested in quite technical subjects such as space flight and find myself sometimes easily picking up quite complex concepts and ideas while other times, especially if I'm consciously trying to learn something or teach myself, it can still be a frustrating experience like reading the same words over and over and none of it sinking in.

And do nay of you guys find it MUCH easier to express yourself by typing as opposed to speaking in person? People say I never stop typing online but when face to face, I'm a man of very few words and I seem to always have that thing where everything flows smoothly in my head but when I try and put my thoughts into words, suddenly 75% of of my vocabulary ceases to exist and I just completely lose the ability to put my thoughts into words.

Anyways, just a few random musings on the subjects!

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11 hours ago, nowinaminute said:

I'm also quite shy and take a long time to be comfortable around people, I've always assumed that's related to the introversion.

Shyness (aka Sensory Processing Sensitivity) is often mistakenly associated  (stereotypically) with introversion, when it’s something that can affect extroverts too. Here’s a useful resource on this topic: https://hsperson.com

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