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Kol__

Perfectionists anonymous... sort of...

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So I just thought I'd see what levels of perfectionism some of us might share here on the forum and if this a hobby that accommodates that type of thinking well.

"My name is Kol and I am a perfectionist";)...

Firstly, I find that there are some benefits to this mindset, such as always striving for the best results and quality, a sometimes unnatural desire to complete tasks to a high standard, an analytical and methodical approach to things which usually also includes a high level of attention to detail which in turn forms a large part of the ability to provide high quality results. In part it also fuels a desire to understand things inside and out, which means that fixing most things is not a problem, just another challenge to be met.

However, it also has many serious negative impacts, such as an increase in the time it takes to complete tasks, a level of procrastination due to the self expectation to perform well (the first time, every time), an overly critical nature leading to an expectation on others to match your desire and approach to doing things in a certain way and expecting others to also seek the same level of quality, a harsh intolerance for incompetence. It also causes additional stress in daily life by complications due to the points listed above.

Accepting the above about myself is not an easy thing to do at times, as this mindset can produce unpleasant behaviour and this can be imprinted on those around you. However, recently post-40yrs I am also accepting that we are who we are to a large extent and that perhaps I need to find an outlet for this perfectionism so that it can be targeted somewhere specific and possibly then release some of the hold it has on me in other areas of my life.

I think, having stumbled on Tamiya RC again a few weeks ago after all these years, that this seems like it could be that outlet. It is a technical hobby, full of detail and instructions and mostly closed, accurate answers. On a more emotional level, for my generation it is full of nostalgia fueled by a childhood in which Tamiya featured quite heavily back in the late 80s and 90s levels - that gives the hobby a wholesome feeling and one rooted in feelings created in the foundation of adolescence. In particular the concept within the hobby of differing levels of care involved in ownership is highly attractive. The idea of a shelf queen (I'm sure you will not be surprised to hear, lol) is most appealing to me. As is the fact that you can simply select certain RC cars and label them bashers or whatever, which lets you off the hook of worrying about their condition so much and allows a sense of chaos and potential destruction to be acceptable. Longevity wise it appears there is a never ending selection of kits and options out there for building, maintaining, tinkering and modifying for the next however many years. Plus this hobby is cheaper than many others, yes I know it can get very pricey and the addiction to buying cars and parts I am already experiencing is a bit concerning tbh, but compared to hobbies like motorcycles and 1:1 cars this seems manageable... just about!:lol:

Perhaps some of you recognise things mentioned above in yourselves and it resonates with some of you. Perhaps some of you wonder what I am talking about and perhaps some of you just think "poor, tightly wound ******!" Anyway, that turned into a bit of an essay... frickin' Jerry Maguire over and out... who's coming with me?...

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I am what I'd call a selective perfectionist. :lol: I can be incredibly casual about some things, while others need to be as perfect as I am capable of. Mostly it really is the best of both worlds for me in this regard.

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13 minutes ago, Kol__ said:

So I just thought I'd see what levels of perfectionism some of us might share here on the forum and if this a hobby that accommodates that type of thinking well.

"My name is Kol and I am a perfectionist";)...

Firstly, I find that there are some benefits to this mindset, such as always striving for the best results and quality, a sometimes unnatural desire to complete tasks to a high standard, an analytical and methodical approach to things which usually also includes a high level of attention to detail which in turn forms a large part of the ability to provide high quality results. In part it also fuels a desire to understand things inside and out, which means that fixing most things is not a problem, just another challenge to be met.

However, it also has many serious negative impacts, such as an increase in the time it takes to complete tasks, a level of procrastination due to the self expectation to perform well (the first time, every time), an overly critical nature leading to an expectation on others to match your desire and approach to doing things in a certain way and expecting others to also seek the same level of quality, a harsh intolerance for incompetence. It also causes additional stress in daily life by complications due to the points listed above.

Accepting the above about myself is not an easy thing to do at times, as this mindset can produce unpleasant behaviour and this can be imprinted on those around you. However, recently post-40yrs I am also accepting that we are who we are to a large extent and that perhaps I need to find an outlet for this perfectionism so that it can be targeted somewhere specific and possibly then release some of the hold it has on me in other areas of my life.

I think, having stumbled on Tamiya RC again a few weeks ago after all these years, that this seems like it could be that outlet. It is a technical hobby, full of detail and instructions and mostly closed, accurate answers. On a more emotional level, for my generation it is full of nostalgia fueled by a childhood in which Tamiya featured quite heavily back in the late 80s and 90s levels - that gives the hobby a wholesome feeling and one rooted in feelings created in the foundation of adolescence. In particular the concept within the hobby of differing levels of care involved in ownership is highly attractive. The idea of a shelf queen (I'm sure you will not be surprised to hear, lol) is most appealing to me. As is the fact that you can simply select certain RC cars and label them bashers or whatever, which lets you off the hook of worrying about their condition so much and allows a sense of chaos and potential destruction to be acceptable. Longevity wise it appears there is a never ending selection of kits and options out there for building, maintaining, tinkering and modifying for the next however many years. Plus this hobby is cheaper than many others, yes I know it can get very pricey and the addiction to buying cars and parts I am already experiencing is a bit concerning tbh, but compared to hobbies like motorcycles and 1:1 cars this seems manageable... just about!:lol:

Perhaps some of you recognise things mentioned above in yourselves and it resonates with some of you. Perhaps some of you wonder what I am talking about and perhaps some of you just think "poor, tightly wound ******!" Anyway, that turned into a bit of an essay... frickin' Jerry Maguire over and out... who's coming with me?...

I'm with you.

Made a mistake on a bodyshell, sell it, and then buy another to start all over again. If that affects your daily life, that's OCD.

I'm on medication, seriously.

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5 minutes ago, TamiyAddict362 said:

I'm with you.

Made a mistake on a bodyshell, sell it, and then buy another to start all over again. If that affects your daily life, that's OCD.

I totally get that, although in my case I demote the imperfect shell to runner status rather than selling it.

7 minutes ago, TamiyAddict362 said:

I'm on medication, seriously

Likewise. 💊🤪 It certainly helps!

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9 minutes ago, TurnipJF said:

I totally get that, although in my case I demote the imperfect shell to runner status rather than selling it.

Even for a runner, I couldn't accept any my mistake on it, say a misplaced sticker, or one with a dog hair underneath which makes it obviously noticable.

But interestingly, I could live with someone else's. If I bought a second-handed shell which is poorly made, I could comfortably have it as a runner.

It's really a psychological problem. Some people just couldn't stand themselves committing mistakes no matter what.

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Interesting @TamiyAddict362, I feel for you there mate. I know that feeling all too well, but often I do manage to accept those things a lot of the time, however it is totally dependent on what I'm doing and what the output is though! I tend to over react, then calm down and decide whether I will remedy the mistake or let it go!!

Good point about the OCD too, I'm not sure I'm ready to accept where I sit on that scale just yet!!:lol:

 

 

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I don't know if I'm a perfectionist, but I'm never happy with anything that I do. One of the many reasons I enjoy my various hobbies is that I can build stuff to the best of my abilities, which are never good enough, so I'm always trying to do better.

It is very frustrating at work when my employees don't perform tasks anywhere near my standards, or don't actively try to improve their skills. You gave me a lot to think about; maybe I need to learn to be happy with "meh, good enough."

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8 minutes ago, Big Jon said:

I don't know if I'm a perfectionist, but I'm never happy with anything that I do. One of the many reasons I enjoy my various hobbies is that I can build stuff to the best of my abilities, which are never good enough, so I'm always trying to do better.

It is very frustrating at work when my employees don't perform tasks anywhere near my standards, or don't actively try to improve their skills. You gave me a lot to think about; maybe I need to learn to be happy with "meh, good enough."

I'd say there's certainly some elements of perfectionism there Jon. Being overly self critical is definitely part of it. I think there is something to be said for finding an 'acceptable' level for things, a level that will vary depending on what you're doing, how 'important' it is and more so what it means to you.

I'm currently trying to take on board the concept of performing to an acceptable level (in my own eyes) with some of my projects at work. There are so multiple projects at any one time and seeking perfection on all of them is looking more and more like a recipe for a mental breakdown or an early grave!:wacko::lol:

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I make static models and it really irritates me that there is very little room for correction for the stickers of RC shells, coz unlike static models' decals, stickers cannot be moved or lifted easily once it is down. I am not that much of a perfectionist for RC bodies though, as I know they all get trashed eventually, no shelf queens for me, generally. I will not run my SW-01s outdoor though. 

 

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"Perfection" used to be an essential job requirement in my previous profession.  That mentality spilled over to my hobbies as well, but over the years (and as I got over the hill in age) I've softened up my expectations a bit.  My wife gets a good chuckle when I get miffed at a misplaced sticker, or paint leaking past masking tape because of how much emotion I put into each build.  I try to do my best, but have learned to eventually accept my limitations or take time away before I try to give it another go and attempt to do better.  

I sympathize with those who medicate, as it took quite a while for me to find peace within myself to find my results acceptable.  It's just hobby, but one that some of us put a lot of passion into and hopefully get just as much satisfaction in return.

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1 hour ago, alvinlwh said:

I make static models and it really irritates me that there is very little room for correction for the stickers of RC shells, coz unlike static models' decals, stickers cannot be moved or lifted easily once it is down. I am not that much of a perfectionist for RC bodies though, as I know they all get trashed eventually, no shelf queens for me, generally. I will not run my SW-01s outdoor though. 

 

Try sprying windowcleaner on the area of the body where the stickers supposed to go. That should allow some movement still. Takes a while to thoroughly dry, though.

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Just now, hIghQ said:

Try sprying windowcleaner on the area of the body where the stickers supposed to go. That should allow some movement still. Takes a while to thoroughly dry, though.

Tried the soapy water trick, it works with very new stickers with little to no sharp edges. Don't work so well with older stickers though. 

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Hello and welcome to TC!

I'm not perfect and neither are my builds but I am very particular with proper and clean builds. I'm also a big fan of modified parts/hop ups that make the kit perform better and look good at the same time. I do like trial and error until I learn how to improve things on my own especially when there are no step by step guides or manuals to read. Figuring things out by using instinct and common sense had become a norm already with me. But don't get me wrong, I still do read manuals and now watch videos if I need to. Information since the the internet has been really helpful and easier. But unfortunately, many of the people don't use their common sense anymore and just rely on the video guides. Once troubleshooting is needed, they turn to videos because they're too lazy to figure things out on their own.

If you grew up in the 70s, 80s, or 90s, (pre-internet times) you know what I mean. MacGyver was my hero. Lol! :D

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I am very happy to not be a perfectionist, thank you. It's just a hobby. I don't let perfect be the enemy of good. That said, I do try to get a little better each time...

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Perfectionist I am not, but I like to make my RC's look presentable.  I am a musician type so it's not unusual for me to practice a phrase or song for over 1000 times (literally) to make it mine.   I don't believe in instant gratification.

So, I am still short 988  M38's.. still a ways to go.  :ph34r:

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I certainly have an idea in my mind of what a car should look like and get very disappointed when reality doesn’t meet my expectations. There are a few projects unfinished on the shelf because they fell short of my expectations and I was so disappointed with myself I couldn’t go back to them.

There are also a few not even started because of the fear of failure.

Unfortunately, whilst I have got a bit better since I started this hobby a few years ago I don’t get the time to practice that I would like.

So I have recently re-started a hobby a can practice more regularly - wargame miniature painting. Sure, I make mistakes but they aren’t so final as when I cut a lexan wheel arch badly and my benchmark is my 12 year old self!
Consequently, my hobby satisfaction index has increased sharply.

As long as I can counter my failing eyesight with technological assistance, I’ll be fine.

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I've got OCD, and it definitely has an impact on my hobbies. Every one of my own cars I've restored has fallen into 1 of 2 camps - 1: planned to be a runner then got carried away with details and a need for perfection that it has been restored and/or upgraded to a point where it is just about as perfect as I can get it and it's turned into a shelf queen or 2: I've failed in some way and I can't even look at it anymore without being disgusted with myself. Perfect examples of both: My Monster Racer started out as a light resto to turn into a nice runner, ended up replacing just about every part with a new vintage part and restoring what I couldn't replace to within an inch of its' life and then getting every period upgrade I could; and my Zahhak/TRF201 where I've built it up with every upgrade I wanted, took a huge amount of time and effort to build it to the best of my ability, took ages trying to decide on a colour scheme for the body, made a mistake, stripped it, started again, got some bleeds that I didn't notice until I'd gone over it with the backing colour, now I don't even want to look at it and have lost all interest in it. 

Doing builds/paint jobs for other people is probably easier in some ways as I can't give myself that opportunity to turn my back on it - I can't let someone else down, it's not an option, so I have to keep going with it. This has led to me even replacing bodies to start again with at my own cost to ensure I could deliver something suitable, and in cases where that wasn't possible, telling them I don't want paying as it's not good enough.

I totally relate to @Badcrumble where there are things I've not started because of a fear of failure - there are many projects sat in boxes in my garage that are in this state.

In the 1:1 world I'd say I have things slightly better under control, which I'd have to say is down to a mix of medication, marriage and psychological help. My OCD gets exponentially worse according to my stress and anxiety levels, so the meds help keep them manageable, but being able to realise when I'm starting to get obsessive and try to make some changes to reduce my stress levels is a big help. For example, I used to be one of those people who had to have every jar, tin, bottle, packet perfectly aligned in their kitchen cupboards and it would totally stress me out if they weren't. Now I do the unpacking every week and I'm ok with things just being lined up and tidy. If I notice I'm getting obsessive about it I'll make sure I take some time later that day to do something I enjoy to lower my stress levels. Being married to someone who is inherently untidy has also helped, as after 20 years together you realise you just can't spend 24/7 tidying up after someone! So on the whole, I have learned to accept that tidy is ok and I have to tell myself sometimes "just walk away from the cupboard, it's not going to kill you that it's not as tidy as it should be." 

One positive of it all though is that when a friend or family member moves house or needs help I get to go nuts! A while back my brother in law had to go to hospital for a bit so me and my wife went and tidied and cleaned his house for when he got back. This meant I got to get the carpet cleaner out, the bleach, degreaser, polish and completely straighten out his kitchen and bathroom cupboards. Another example of this is when we go to a friends for dinner or a party. I'm really not great around crowds of people as I also have social anxiety as I'm an introvert, so I'll happily spend my time in the kitchen washing up, which will usually result in the home owners saying goodbye to everyone and coming into the kitchen to find everything has been washed up, put away, cupboards sorted, glasses polished - we don't always get asked back, but most of the time we do, and often I'm just pointed in the direction of the kitchen and left to my own devices! :) 

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9 hours ago, Kol__ said:

Firstly, I find that there are some benefits to this mindset, such as always striving for the best results and quality, a sometimes unnatural desire to complete tasks to a high standard, an analytical and methodical approach to things which usually also includes a high level of attention to detail which in turn forms a large part of the ability to provide high quality results. In part it also fuels a desire to understand things inside and out, which means that fixing most things is not a problem, just another challenge to be met.

However, it also has many serious negative impacts, such as an increase in the time it takes to complete tasks, a level of procrastination due to the self expectation to perform well (the first time, every time), an overly critical nature leading to an expectation on others to match your desire and approach to doing things in a certain way and expecting others to also seek the same level of quality, a harsh intolerance for incompetence. It also causes additional stress in daily life by complications due to the points listed above.

Great post. I do strive to be less critical of others unless their approach is overly shoddy but I am extremely harsh on judging myself (at times, in the past, with negative consequences and having autism doesn't help). Like other's I have stayed away from projects that I fear I'd fail at. I'm cautious and a planner. I research and analyze for weeks or even months to ensure good results or simply to avoid the project altogether. 

Case-in-point: I wanted the Tamiya Porsche 934 Valiant 1/12th static kit. I studied it and its price before giving up the endeavor. Much of it came down to painting it. I don't like aspects in which I don't have total control of most of the variables and no matter how much you plan and prep for paint, there is a "magic" element of luck (like a gnat or dust not landing in the wet paint) involved in painting. To make matters worse, the paint job is what everyone sees first. So now I subscribe to the saying, a man's got to know his limitations.

Parents that demanded perfect results (I am the black sheep of the family and seen as a "waste" with a blue collar job) and working a job for 7 years that demanded nothing less than absolute perfection drove me nuts, jacking up my OCD and leading to sleepless nights. Things are somewhat better now. I guess what I'm rambling about is, you're not alone.

 

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@Kol__ - when I was reading your first post I thought to myself this is just like me.

10 hours ago, Kol__ said:

a harsh intolerance for incompetence.

And this has got me into trouble a few times at home...

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When I restarted this hobby 2 years ago I felt I was a perfectionist, but I quickly discovered that seeking perfection would mean I'd never finish any builds. In fact most of my builds still aren't finished, probably for that reason. But you quickly realize that if you constantly seek perfection, it eventually sucks the enjoyment right out of everything. 

I've toned down my expectations nowadays, and I've been able to finish more of my kits, and also enjoy myself more while doing so.

Am I making any sense whatsoever? :lol:

 

On a separate and unrelated note, it's so nice to see several newcomers to the forum these past few days. Welcome (or welcome back?) all!

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13 hours ago, Kol__ said:

However, it also has many serious negative impacts, such as an increase in the time it takes to complete tasks, a level of procrastination due to the self expectation to perform well (the first time, every time), an overly critical nature leading to an expectation on others to match your desire and approach to doing things in a certain way and expecting others to also seek the same level of quality, a harsh intolerance for incompetence

Hah this is so me

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6 hours ago, jonboy1 said:

. Another example of this is when we go to a friends for dinner or a party. I'm really not great around crowds of people as I also have social anxiety as I'm an introvert, so I'll happily spend my time in the kitchen washing up, 

There have been a few posts on here that have resonated, this particularly so!

My wife jokes that if we go to a house party, I’ll be sure to be found in the corner with a cat if the hosts have one!

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I think emotion or passion perhaps is a better word, as it suggests a level of intensity, is a big part of this @Killajb. Caring so much about the quality of the results and final finish adds pressure to the act of actually doing the task. I'm trying to weigh up the benefits of feeding the beast, so to speak, against just backing off a touch on the level of my expectations... It's a work in progress!:lol:

MacGyver FTW @Nicadraus, in a past life I was a professional photographer and ran a studio in London. A big part of that job was solving problems on set, whether it be creative lighting issues or set build problems etc. and we always called the finding of solutions 'MacGyvering'

"don't let perfect be the enemy of good" that's great @markbt73, food for thought there for the perfectionists among us, nice one.

Thanks for sharing everyone. It's interesting to see fear of failure being mentioned here a couple of times. I definitely feel I have an issue with that myself. It's normally beneath the surface working in its evil, sly and self-destructive ways, but in recent times I find myself noticing it more and questioning what the **** is going on there. In areas of life other than RC, I think it is quite a limiting factor and one which I wonder may cause regrets later in life.

@jonboy1 I'm going to ask my wife to be more untidy... Nah scratch that, the place will become a ******* bomb site if I say that!!!:lol:

Thanks @Saito2 I do wonder how much upbringing has an impact on these things. Learning baseline behaviours in key periods of development and all that nature Vs nurture stuff.

Wise words there @DeadMeat666 I hear ya!

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Well, I'm a bit of perfectionist. My builds are taking weeks, until I get them completed. And paintjob is just going to take a lot of time...

 

And being a perfectionist and ambitious, I initially ordered a body shell at the same time as the kit, for the case it goes south when doing the paintjob.

It was a little bit experimental on the paintjob at first. When I build a kit, I generally have an overall idea of what I'd like to achieve in most of the case. And i decided to invest in a Silhouette Cameo 4 at some point as for what I wanted to achieve with the Turbo Scorpion, there was no way to do it without it. Had a lot of thinking, and decided to pull the trigger (worst case scenario, there was a second body shell to do something simpler if it did not work).

And it worked, like a charm... (nb: on the body shell, only the white sticker on the side is a sticker, the rest is paint only)

QK0gmJv.jpg

 

Since this Turbo Scorpion, I don't order a second body shell anymore with the kit. And progressed a lot.

And while it worked with the Turbo Scorpion, I still thought there was thing I could do differently and better. But when you see the people looking at it, you know that you've made it right (even if on your side, being a perfectionist, you would think there was always a way to do better)

And I tried to teach my son as well about paintjobs. He wanted to do some complex things with a body shell for his DT03. That was not really a success. He was near to abandon his idea to make his own bodyshell. I used some paint killer to clean the body shell, and he restarted from scratch. Since then, he doesn't see it the same way: there is always a way to repair a mistake.

 

Ultimately, the best way to approach the thing is :

"There is no fail. Either I succeed, either I learn!"

What is truly important is just to learn from the mistakes. That is being a perfectionist.

 

 

 

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